


The Touch of Germany

by AnaJo_Skylark



Series: The Capital Series [5]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Child Loss, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaJo_Skylark/pseuds/AnaJo_Skylark
Summary: For years, Marie Brown was one of the toughest, roughest women on the streets of Boston. Everyone knew she was a force to be reckoned with but none knew the pain that laid beneath her skin. She did what ever it took to silence the voices and visions along with the heartbreaking pain but nothing silenced it. Until she is sent to German to help the soldiers of the UN and only then does she fall deep within the German culture and a certain German that takes her off her feet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my Capital Series. All rights of Hetalia belong to the awesome creator that he is and the capitals, extras and plot all are mine. Enjoy :)
> 
> Note Warning: This story contains child-loss and drug usage/recovery

The landscape and architecture that surrounded her were astounding. She knew they were beautiful but didn't realize this much. The bass of Love is a Battlefield echoed the small car as she made her way to the UN building. Finally, she was in Germany. Over a year of getting all the paper works, records and cards; plus, the ensuing war was putting a lot of countries on edge as it got worse by the months that passed.

The drive to Bonn wouldn't have been bad if it wasn't nearly five hours away from Berlin and her hotel. She didn't realize that she'd be traveling so much, well until she found the place she was supposed to go to first. The company had told her she was boarding with others and yet she still hadn't found the place. Seems they kept themselves quite quiet to the world.

The GPS gave its command to her as she approached the intersection. Of course, it'd want her to take the good world famous Autobahn. As much as she wanted to taste the speed that her car could deliver, she turned the other way.

"Not confident enough for that yet." she muttered as the device gave her a new route through the quieter half of the city.

Her mind wandered aimlessly as she continued her way to the building, praying she really was equipped for something like this. Not that she hadn't done well before in Boston, but things in other countries were much different on multiple scales. The only real advantage she has was being able to speak the language, thank god for school and her Uroma. That woman was a godsend for her back then, deep down she still wished she was around.

The burning sting to her nose and eyes attacked her, forcing her to pull to the side as her skin began to burn.

"Fuck not again." she rubbed her eyes and nose in failed attempt to rid the pain, but she knew better.

It intensified, the bullets ringing out as screams filled her head. She tried to blink away but all she could see where the bodies. Thousands and thousands of bodies lying upon the ground. One standing out with the sweet red coat, covered in mud and death. The lifeless eyes staring into a void of nothing as the cries of one person came out loud and clear.

"I didn't know." they sobbed, "I didn't know!"

And then, silence. As quick as it came it went away leaving Marie gasping for air and trembling at the wheel. Years this had happened to her, years of unknown answers, doctors and specialist and other remedies to remove it yet no matter what she did, they were always there. Pulling out a cigarette, she lit the thing and took a long pull, filling her lungs with the needed release of pain and desire.

"Fuck those things suck." she said throwing the car in gear and continuing her way.

Not long after the attack, the large UN building came to view as a relaxed sigh escaped her. Finally, she made it to the damn thing. Once settled, she went into the vast building and awed at the uniqueness of it. Historical figures here and there, giving the cultural flair you would expect from it.

"Entschuldigen Sie mich, wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?" someone asked her.

"Oh, ja." she said opening her file and showing the woman the paper, "Wo ist das Zimmer?"

The woman smiled and pointed her in the direction she needed. With curt nod and thanks, Marie made her way into the building, turning where she needed and followed the numbers like she said. As she got closer, she could hear arguing. Loud arguing to be exact. She came up to a viewing point to a large room, slowly she peered in only to see multiple men and women yelling at each other. Languages thrown around and accusations pinpointing at others. Marie backed away, shocked by the sight. She had to counsel people like that of war?

"Hey." someone said.

Marie turned to see a young woman coming her way, a stray Indian feather gracing her ebony hair, "Are you the new counselor?"

"Oh, yes." she said holding out her hand.

"Good, you didn't get lost. I'm Amber Jones." she said taking Marie's hand.

"Marie Brown."

"Come on, you don't need to be surrounded with that on your first day. Let's make you feel at home first."

Marie followed Amber as she took her elsewhere in the building, "So gotta ask before you get in there, like music? We're always got something playing."

"Very much; more of a certain era."

"Oldies?" Amber asked.

"Depends but more eighties, late seventies."

"Good taste. Cher is my go to no matter what mood."

"I'm more of a Pat Benatar girl myself."

"Not bad, not bad at all." Amber said as they came to a large door, "Oh, another thing, do you like kids."

Marie felt her heart drop. Kids? No one said kids would be here. "Yea, I like kids."

"Good, prepare to be attacked the rugrats." she said opening the door.

"Oh wow." was all Marie could say about the large space.

It was beautiful to say the least, large couches and chairs that you could sink into for hours, the vast windows showing the city of Bonn, the delicious smells of foods and drinks filled the air along with peaceful chatter.

"Pretty huh? Our boys always make sure we are all taken care of." she said making her way to the couch.

"I'll say, got good men on your arms." Marie said, following behind.

"That we do." Amber smiled, "Hey guys, what's cooking?"

"Lots." was the reply she heard along with laughter.

"For the love of God Brie, put the baby down before you drop her." she heard someone yell.

"I have to pull a final burp." was the reply, "There it is."

"I swear, you finish nursing one just to have another. Crazy woman."

"Only to you Juliet." Marie saw a brunette woman come out of the small kitchen area with a blonde baby within her arms.

"I'm not the one producing like rabbits!" A blonde poker her head out.

"Don't mind them Marie. That's normal between the English and the French." Amber sighed at them.

"Is everyone here from different countries?" Marie asked.

"Yep. You and I are the only Americans. Do have a Canadian, whom is our other therapist. She specializes in child loss and family." Amber replied.

"Talking about me again eh?" Someone spoke behind them.

Marie saw a strawberry blonde walk up to them, her green eyes sparkled as her smile brought her own to surface.

"Sorry girly, had to. Meet your partner in counseling." Amber said.

"Marie Brown, pleasure to meet you. I'm Marissa Williams." She said, holding her hand out.

"Pleasure as well. Seems you knew me before I know you." Marie shook her hand, catching a glimpse of a growing belly.

"I went to one of the cases you protected back in December. The one over the Iraqi Vet and the post trauma he received." She explained, "You are a force to be reckoned with I must say."

"Ah, the McCartney case." Marie nodded remembering the tiring case, "Sucker was hard but at least he got what he needed."

"That he did." She smiled at her. "I can't wait to be working with you. Well, until this one gets here."

"Yes." Amber said leaning down to the bump, "And how is my little Alyssa?"

Marissa gave a small pout, "Um actually from the last ultrasound, Alyssa's an Alec."

"You traitor." Amber poked her belly.

"Blame Mattie." Marissa giggled.

 

Marie laughed lightly at them, she could feel the cozy warmth of family and friends within the room as she was slowly introduced to everyone, including the children. She watched Jeanne attempt patty-cake with her baby sister, Satine as Alexei and Liberty played side by side each other, sharing pats and hugs, while little Jacque was in her laps.

"Jacque! Don't be fresh to Marie!" Brie scolded as Marie felt his tiny hand upon her breasts.

"Well, he's a true man." Marie joked.

"Yes, and with his father's genes it terrifies me."

"Then drop him with Uncle Charles for a little, Monique and I will teach him to be a proper man." Brie's brother-in-law said.

"You all are crazy." she heard Philip, the Vietnamese chef say as he brought out trays of decadent foods.

"So, Marie, are you traveling back to Berlin after this or spending the night in Bonn?" Lily asked.

"Heading back to my hotel until I find the place I'm supposedly boarding with." she replied, "Still trying to find it."

"Is there a name with it?" Marissa asked.

"Yea, Beilschmidt."

"Beilschmidt?" they all spoke together.

"Um, is that a bad thing?" she asked.

"Nein, not at all." someone replied from the door.

Turing to see, Marie saw an elegant woman of high class enter the room. Her wavy brown hair caressed her porcelain skin as her blue eyes glowed, "It's not bad at all. Just hard to believe that the brothers were willing to do that."

"Oh, seems you know a lot." Marie said, standing to greet her.

"Ja, I do. Delilah Edelstein." she said taking Marie's hand.

Marie could feel tension within the air and so could Delilah, "Brie, please don't be mad at me." she spoke softly to the French woman.

"I'm not mad at you Delilah, nor Roderich. Just more over the situation and the hurt that ensued." Brie replied.

"You know Elizaveta found her love, that is what should count." Delilah stated as she pulled Marie to the door.

Placing Jacque in Charles arms, she followed the woman out to see what would be going on.

"So, you know the home?" she asked.

"Ja, they have a few. Do you have the set address?"

Taking the file out, Marie saw the woman light up, "Ah Berlin. That's a beautiful one. I can tell you now for tonight they'll stay here in Bonn. Afterwards they'll head back."

"You don't stay with them?"

"Heavens no. My Roderich and I are going back to Austria after today. Elizaveta might join them, along with Lili too if Vash okays it."

"I see." Marie sighed, "What can you tell me of the Beilschmidts?"

"They're good boys. Ludwig is the youngest yet mature and Gilbert is the oldest and yet the wild one." she explained. "I believe Ludwig is the one that set up the whole plan of having you within the UN. Since of late they have brought many outside professions within, like myself, for one day use."

"And yours is?"

"Teaching." Delilah smiled as they walked to the large viewing area, "Now, I don't see Gil running around so maybe Ludwig made him stay at the house. A good thing really, crazy Prussian."

"Prussian? Prussia was dissolved over seventy years ago, and that was the East half for Poland to the Baltics, the true one was nearly one hundred years ago." Marie stated.

"Don't tell him that." Delilah laughed, "Ah, there he is. See the eight near the high podium? The military blonde there, that's Ludwig."

Marie followed her finger and saw the man in point. His hair was slicked back, his suit was even and pressed to the sharpest of ways, there wasn't a hair out of line on him which meant he kept a home like that too. Yay Marie...not.

"Taking a guess, he runs the house military style?" she questioned.

"Pretty much. If I were you, I's stay close to Elizaveta. She's more the sane one that is there." she said as someone called her name. "Well, I must be off. It was a pleasure to meet you Marie, Bis dann. Auf Wiedersehen."

Marie watched as Delilah stood beside a sharp dressed man, same style and pose as she. Yea, those two were really made for each other. She looked back down at the sea of men and women and looked once more at Ludwig. It puzzled her mind, yet the more she looked at him, the more familiar he seemed.


	2. Chapter 2

Not even two days in Germany, she had the men and women pouring in. And by day five she realized that things weren't what they totally seemed. Time lines weren't adding up, nor were actions taken place at battlefields. Marie knew the ins and outs of most war stuff, no matter which war it was. Let it be known, her Uroma was a massive history buff and drilled military into Marie since the day she said her first word. But these stories were way out of context.

"How did you fight in Afghanistan if your country didn't get involved until '03?" she muttered aloud, her cigarette balancing between her lips.

She sat at her large desk, pondering on all the information before her. With a frustrated sigh, she threw the file and pen down, looking around the vast room. Marie couldn't complain. Ever since she met Ludwig and Elizaveta, things ran smooth. She was more astonished at where Ludwig lived and the room she had gained. She was living like Belle from Beauty and the Beast really. Her office was next to her bedroom and her office was practically a small library, covered in books from top to bottom. The thump and bang outside her door indicated mischief was being made, only once source for that. The usual cackle of the man echoed the air, his footsteps evading a heavier set.

"Dummkopf! What the hell was that?" she heard Ludwig holler at Gilbert.

Leaning back in her chair, Marie waited for the next loud ruckus, "Three...two...one..."

The sound of a metal object connecting with Gilbert's head was next as he groaned, "The hell was that for Eliza?"

"This wouldn't happen if you just listened and behaved."

"You guys are just jealous of meine awesomeness!" he shouted.

Yes, there wasn't any dull moments within the home. She liked it really. It made it fun and interesting while she worked. She was getting used to the style of the place, how it was fast paced and moving nonstop. The gentle knock to her door roused her from her thoughts.

"Enter." she said, dabbing the bud out.

"Szia!" Eliza entered with a small tray. "Thought you'd need a break."

"Before you hit Gilbert again." Marie chuckled.

"Well, yes. More or less." she paused for a moment as she came closer, "You do realize that Ludwig will go ballistic if he realizes you are smoking in here?"

"Henceforth why I clean like crazy in my rooms. Along with the incense to mask it." Marie said.

"He's not dumb, he'll figure it out." she set the tray down on her desk.

"I know, until then." she smiled.

The gentle pats of paws approached her desk, the light golden fur gave way of who came in, "Hello Aster."

She reached out to pet the nimble head of the Hovawart as the pup placed her head in her lap.

"Looks like you've gained a new friend."

"Of course, always find this one at the foot of my bed." Marie said, "Better not let Ludwig find out huh?"

"I don't think he'd care as long as you were good to him."

"So, what's on all of your agendas for the day?"

Elizaveta sighed, "Well, Ludwig is having a meeting with some others, myself I plan to venture out into the city for some of the markets. Thought I'd bring some of my cultural foods over for the evening. And Gil...well, let's hope he behaves."

"No time with your boyfriend?" Marie asked, waiting to see her reaction.

Sure enough, she saw what made her curious to the woman. Mentioning the man nearly set something off in her. Not one of jealously of another woman or fearful of his actions; no, this was one of undesirable moments, as if she didn't want him and yet told no one so.

"He's busy with his business." Her reply as usual.

Yet Marie didn't push, she knew better than to entangle with that bad boy, that was Marissa's department. Sipping the tea she brought, Marie sank back in her mind of the people on her desk.

"Do you ever get depressed reading them?" Eliza asked.

"No. You just learn to channel it out and try not to get too deep with it." Marie explained.

"Tough work." She said, rising from her chair, "Well, I better head out to ready for tonight's meal. Do you need anything?"

"Nein, danke." She replied.

With a silent nod, Eliza left the room leaving Marie to ponder her own thoughts again as the scent of fuel filled her nose.

She pinched the bridge, hoping to pass this moment with ease. Of the two that got her, this was the easy one. Plane fuel, engines roaring and German commands filled her as it continued. This one calmer than the other, one of friendship and trust.

"Hey Frau." She was snapped back.

Looking up she found Gilbert at her door.

"As I told you before, I'm not dating anyone nor giving freebies." She chided at him.

"Nein. I know." He replied coming up to her desk, "Luddy made that well known."

She watched him, noticing his demeanor was different, off in some sort of way yet couldn't figure out how. He sat down on the edge of her desk, his mesmerizing eyes never making contact with hers.

"Look, um...you specialize in war trauma, PTSD, ja?"

"Ja." She replied.

Gil rubbed the back of his head, "I'm not one to approach others and ask favors but in this case I think you can help."

Marie nodded at him, "Alright. What's wrong and what spot did you fight? It gives me a good insight to you."

"Nein, not me."

"Excuse me?"

"It's not for me." He said, "I don't think you can hear at times at night, but I can. He still cries over it. I see him at times looking in the mirror with such loath and anger that the damn thing should shatter under the pressure."

"Ok, seems like this is serious," she spoke, jotting down his words. "I'm going to have to have them come in and speak with me then."

"That's the issue, to get him to admit there's something wrong or that he needs help will be a miracle in its own and I think you can help him there."

Marie waited for him to speak of who, "And this person is?"

"If anything, Frau, just help him in some way. Even if it's just an afternoon talk. I just want to see that smile he used to give me." He said, emotion dripping from his tongue.

"Gil?"

"Bitte." he pleaded, "Hilfe mein Bruder."

 

He stared at the screen as the others rambled on about Genesis. He was worried with how everything was unfolding. The year was not to kind to them as sporadic attacks came about in each of them, all towards their capitals. It made a lot of them on edge but none the worse than the ones that had their capitals.

"The last one was too close to London." Arthur stated.

"It's too close for any of us." Francis added.

"Which it is why we are discussing once again what we should do." Ludwig added.

"So, Ivan, what did your guys pull out of the guy you caught?" Alfred asked.

"Not much." Ivan sighed, "He succumbed to his wounds."

"The ones you delivered, yes?" Yao pointed out.

"He nearly got my Lily, what did you expect?"

"A little bit of leniency." Ludwig said under his breath.

"They killed two of my diplomats." Ivan stated.

Silence filled the conversation, new insight that wasn't known, "When we found that out, we just did the same."

"I'm afraid to see what the same was." Feli trembled.

"It was bad then Ivan?" Kiku asked.

"They sent body parts to their families. We just did the same with him." Ivan replied.

"Hammurabi's Law I presume you followed." Ludwig questioned.

Ivan smiled, "Da."

"Seems like they're getting ballsy with each attack." Alfred pointed out.

"Yes quite." Ludwig ran his hand through his hair, mentally thinking of what else they could do, "The restrictions are up, yes? I can't think of anything else that could just slow them down even for a little."

"We have any more restrictions Ludwig we may have a war of civilians on our hands." Yao replied.

"Yea and I already have that going on over here, I don't need any more." Alfred added.

"So how many more attacks must there be?" Francis demanded, "We have to do something, I cannot sit here with my thumb up my ass. I have too much of importance here, and I know I'm not alone in that department."

Ludwig watched as Alfred and Ivan nodded in agreement with the Frenchman, even Arthur gave a small one. It was true, they all had capitasl and for those three, they had cities to worry over as well.

"So far what I have seen with the leaders is that they want peace, to just bury their heads away and pretend it isn't happening." Arthur said. "I'm not sure about the rest of you but I'm not one for sitting things out."

"Going around them won't do anything?" Alfred asked.

"Military won't react without the leaders okay to do so." Feli replied.

"So, we are stuck then until things change?" Yao questioned.

"It seems that way." Ludwig replied, feeling defeat roll in him.

"So, until then, we lie in wait until they make another attack on one of us or another country." Ivan said.

They all hummed and nodded in agreement, knowing it was all they could do until proven otherwise.

"Papa, je veux dire salut." Ludwig heard Jeanne ask Francis.

"Oh, why not. A little happiness to brighten us up." he smiled at her as he lifted her to his lap.

"Bonjour!" Jeanne beamed at them.

A chorus of native hellos echoed the conversation as Jeanne smiled at them, asking when she could come back and play with everyone again. He really couldn't complain to Francis's words, she did brighten them all a little, slowly pushing the damning thought of war away as she asked them all sorts of things.

"Ludwig?"

"Ja?" he replied to her.

"When I come back to Germany, can you or Mr. Gil make Spritzkuchen?"

"You like my Spritzkuchen?"

"Oui!"

"What about papa's cooking?" Francis whined to her.

"I have yours all the time." she replied, gaining laughter from the others.

"Ja Jeanne, I'll make them next time." Ludwig smiled at the little girl.

Jeanne smiled as her father set her down, "Alright, why don't you go help maman with Satine and I'll be down in a moment."

"Ok papa."

Jeanne took off as Francis looked back at the screen to them, "Well seems like I must be off."

"You aren't alone. I can hear Libby fussing." Alfred said.

"And Alexei is giving Lily a tough time." Ivan added, "Duty calls."

"Alright then, as of now we wait out and see what comes next with Genesis. Meeting adjourned." Ludwig said, ending the call.

He stared at the black screen, hoping it would give answers to him that he needed. Yet all it did was give him silence. He hoped that things would just settle down and give him a moments peace to enjoy himself, but life was funny that way. He noticed how quiet it was within the home, and it made him worry.

"Now what's he up to?" Ludwig said, making his way out of his office.

As he walked down the hall, there was nothing. No smell of food or something on fire, no noise, no destruction in sight, so where was Gilbert? He looked out the large bay window only to see the yard empty of his brother. Making his way down the hall he finally caught the small end of chattering. Looking at the door he noticed it was within Marie's office, slowly he pushed the door a crack to peek in. Sure enough, there was Gilbert talking with Marie. Deep conversation over something too; he never had that serious face like that unless it meant serious business.

"So, do you think you can help?" he asked her.

Marie gave a deep sigh, running her hand through her hair. To say she awed him was not even close, she intrigued him to the maximum level. She was far from what he thought women would be, the reserved gentle creatures that they are. She didn't fit the once strong idolize of Germany. She was tall for her stature, lean and slightly muscular, she wasn't as curvy as most women yet just enough to define her and her pixie cut brown hair was not seen. The only thing she had that would've even remotely been fine was her eyes, just a little darker than his own. Her attitude alone would've had her in more trouble than anything, she was strong willed and a ball of fire when set rolling would take anything down in her path. And she marveled him.

"I'll see what I can do." she replied, pulling something out of her pocket, "Doesn't mean he'll give into me or that he'll even talk."

Who were they speaking about...did she just? Ludwig looked harder to see her light a cigarette and inhale on the piece. Really, in his house? He pushed open the door, gaining the attention of Aster at Marie's feet.

"Entschuldigung." he laced his voice with stern authority.

Both Gilbert and Marie turned to look at him as Aster ran to him. The white stick sitting between Marie's pout lips still burned as the smoke lifted to the air as he pointed at her, "Not in the house. Outside."

With a huff, Marie walked over to the window and threw it open, leaning her torso out it. "I'm outside now."

Gilbert laughed at her, "I like her more and more Luddy. Glad we have her around. She's a challenge for you."

Ludwig looked back over to her, watching as she finished the damn thing. How could a woman like her make him question everything and yet leaving wondering so much more?


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure about that Marissa? These charts don't seem right." Marie asked, "Unless Europe is different that the U.S."

"Things are slightly different over there and some of them snuck away from their representatives to fight." Marissa explained, "Remember in history for World War II how young men faked their ages to fight in the war? It's pretty much the same thing. They fought for what they knew was right."

"So, it's one of those moment huh?"

"Pretty much. You see things that I normally don't deal with yet even I noticed things like that." Marissa said, snapping her fingers, "That's what I wanted to ask. How's Eliza? I notice some odd notions from her when mentioning her boyfriend."

"Oh good, I'm not alone." Marie sighed, "Thought I was the only one that noticed."

Marie pulled out her pad as she saw Marissa from the computer screen doing the same.

"I'm normally not one to snoop around really but I have to admit it brought suspicion. Scanning and faxing them to you."

"I've had silence for myself. But Alfred, Amber, and Mattie don't know much about the Europeans. Just what they tell me." She replied, looking at the information she sent. "Interesting. Is her persona cold around the others?"

"No, quite the opposite. Very bubbly and happy. A little aggressive when need be but never cold. It's why I ask. I've never met the man and no one else has either. It's like he's a deep secret."

"Odd." Marissa pondered over the information, "Any bruising or anything?"

"Please Marissa. Her?" Marie spoke, "Remember the Russian's one sister we saw nearly kill that one guy?"

Marissa nodded her head at her, "Take that down about three notches and there's Eliza. I dare anyone to lay a hand on her."

"Gotta ask. It's the only thing that raises questions."

"He's never around, I do see that." Marie stated, "Always on trips or business stuff. Could be a big name and we not know it. Maybe she's keeping quiet for his sake."

"But you'd think she'd have a different look out on it. Every time you bring him up she gets distant."

Marie thought of the situation, "Think she's over Roderich? According to Gil they were together for a long time, could that be a factor?"

"Possible, but even then, she seems okay over that fact." Marissa said, "Who knows. Maybe it's just her."

"True, true. Only she knows the truth." Marie nodded, seeing Marissa give a small wince of pain. "You alright there?"

"Oh, yea, I'm fine. Alec just decided to take his foot into my ribs, nothing out of the usual here." Marissa smiled, rubbing her belly.

Marie chuckled at the sight as her past and visions flooded into her head. She quickly rubbed her temples, hoping anything would work to rid the suckers before Marissa noticed her issue. To her dismay, Marissa was wide-eyed and waiting for her to speak.

"Just a sudden headache, that's all." she waved to the Canadian.

"Are you sure it isn't anything else?"

The scent of gas, death, and the hospital ran through her body as she asked that, "Yea. Why do you ask?"

Marissa sighed, "I hate to be a snoop but I like to know who I'm working with, so I read your file."

Marie paused, her breath stuck in her throat as her body grew stiff. No, she couldn't have.

"I know everything." Marissa said quietly, "I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk I'm here."

"Thank you, but I've healed fine." Marie said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Is that why you've had about four of them as we've talked?"

"I cope."

"Not in a good way Marie."

Marie sighed, knowing the woman was right, "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

She didn't have to ask Marissa that question, she knew what she'd want to hear. Marie just wasn't sure if her heart could take it again.

"Tell me about Adrian."

 

Her tears didn't slow down after the conversation was long gone. She still felt that pain within her very soul. The nagging need running through her veins, calling for her to end it and become numb. The cigarettes were no longer taking their effect and alcohol wasn't even touching it as she downed another glass of the German beer.

She balled her fists together, squeezing for all she was worth, leaning her forehead against them as the need screamed at her.

"You don't need it Marie, you don't need it." she repeated to herself, hoping that herself mantra would clear it up.

Yet it was still there, strong as before and calling out. She needed pain. Needed release. She would've begged for either if it wasn't so hard. Only thing she could do was work out her body until she collapsed. And that's what she was doing.

Cleaning her desk and readying herself, she made her way down to the in-home gym that the boys used every day. She heard Ludwig barking orders at Gilbert outside as Eliza busied herself in the kitchen. Perfect. No one would know she was down there.

Once inside, she started her 80's mix and started multiple rounds on all the equipment in sight. She felt her arms grow heavy as her legs shook under the strain she placed under it. She moved back and forth to each piece until her own vision began to blur. She gave the weigh set one more haul, wanting to rid the last burn within, only it came down faster on her as her legs gave out.

Marie waited for it to hit her, yet nothing came. She looked up her trembling arms only to see another set beside her own, holding the bar up. It was then she could feel the body behind her, the breath against her hair and the slow anger coming off them.

"Scheisse." she muttered under her breath.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Ludwig gritted behind her.

Well, it wasn't far from truth if she said yes, but knowing him, "Nein. Just went overboard that's all."

Ludwig lifted the weights off her, placing them back in their spot as she sat upon the floor in a slump. She waited for him to bitch at her, to snap at her for being so careless and not have a spotter. Yet all he did was become eye level with her, his icy blues staring into her, waiting.

"What?" she asked.

"Geht's dir gut?" he looked harder at her.

Was she? "Yes, I'm alright. As I said. I pushed myself too hard."

"You're lying."

"Am not!" she said.

"Then why did you come down here and abuse yourself to the point of passing out?" he pointed out, "Seems to me there are issues."

"What little you know." she said, "And as a man of war, like yourself, can see these issues. What makes you think that I'd talk?"

He smiled at her, "I know what you are up to or at least soon attempting to try to."

"And that is?"

"You want me to speak of my past and war."

Now she was awed. The man could stun her in some ways but she wasn't expecting that. Well, two could play that game, "Fair enough, you caught me. So, you won't talk. I have other ways to find this all out."

"You won't find a thing kleiner Fuchs."

"So, Gil saying you cry at night is a lie?" she pushed, knowing the truth in her own investigation, "I heard you in your sleep last night. Don't tell me I don't know."

"You are not like most counselors. You are pushing boundaries you have no need to be near." he spoke slyly to her, "And yet you are the same when you call out for Adrian?"

Her heart shrunk back in pain and hurt, fuck she still cried out for him. The pain and burn came back, after all she did to make it go away, it was back.

"That is my business-"

"And so is my own." he cut her off, "Stay in your field. I'll stay in mine. Then we are both happy."

She could only look at him in displeasure; doing her best to keep her own anger down to a bare minimum of nothing. "Excuse me for doing my job."

Marie carefully got up, her knees wobbly and unsteady after her assault to her body. She felt Ludwig's arms wrap around her torso, holding her up before she fell.

"You can barely stand." he stated, "Lean on me, I'll take you to your room."

"I'd rather die first than show weakness." she muttered under her breath.

"Fine then." his arms left her, leaving her unsteady as he walked to the door, "Walk to me."

"I'm not a child. I can do this on my own. Have so far, so what's another day?" she chided.

"You either walk and show me you can, I help you walk up, or I carry you. Make your choice."

"Oh please, and lower your ego even more. Not likely Mr. Man. Like you I have some dignity-OH!" next thing she knew, she was hauled over the German's shoulder, heading towards the rooms.

"Unhand me! Put me down! Ludwig now, I'm telling you now! Nein, jetzt aufhören! Das ist ein Befehl! Ludwig, hör mir zu!" she hollered at him as he threw open her door.

"Genügend!" she punched the back of his head, only to be thrown on top of her bed.

"Viper!" he shouted, rubbing his head.

"I told you I could do it!"

"You took too long and struck a nerve." he said bringing his face inches from hers, "And if you do something like that again, mark my words. I will make you train like Gilbert and me. And I will not be easy on you. You would wish you were in hell."

Marie bit her tongue, holding back everything she wanted to unleash on the man. Looking away, she heard him huff in annoyance and leave her room. This was not how she planned things to go, not one bit. She had to get him to open, somehow, some way.

The gentle paws entered her room as a giant ball of yellow fluff bounded onto her bed. "Hey there Aster."

Two more bodies joined her as Aster licked her cheek. "Blackie, Berlitz. How you boys doing?"

The three pups leaned and rubbed against her as she gave them all equal attention. Her thoughts plagued her mind along with his encounter. There were so many unanswered questions and more were piling on before she could even answer one of them, her mind was exhausted from it all, along with her body after her abusive workout. The dogs laid around her, almost begging her to join them.

"You do realize boys that when he sees you like this, he'll want you out?" she told them, rubbing each head, "Ah fuck it. Who cares, why not a small nap."

Tucking herself between Aster and Blackie, and Berlitz laying down for her to rest her head upon him, she snuggled with them as her exhaustion overcame her and her own eyes burning for the need of sleep. Yea, she could sleep like this. To hell with boyfriends or anything of such, dogs were better in her mind.

 

"Verdammt dass Frau." he muttered down the hall, still rubbing his head.

As weak as she was at that time, she let him have it good. What the hell was her issue anyway? He entered his office to find Gil poking around as his bird sat upon his shoulder.

"Do you have anything better to do?" he asked.

"Was? Kleiner Bruder doesn't want to have his awesome Bruder around?" he smiled at him.

"Go away. You're being a pest as of now." Ludwig said, making his way to the desk.

"Headache?" Gil asked him, "A good punch would do that."

He just stared at his brother, "What? You two made a scene. And you know, threatening her will not get you in her panties faster."

"I am not trying that with her!" Ludwig shouted at him.

"Ok, ok. I was just joking, jeez. What's wrong, West?"

"Nein."

"Don't nein me." Gil spun his chair around to face him, "I know my little brother and this isn't him. What's wrong Luddy?"

"Why do you think I need help?" he asked.

Gilbert just stared at him, unsure of what to say or how he knew. Ludwig stood up and made his way to the window. Peering down at the vast yard, he waited to see what Gil would say.

"Nichts?" he said aloud. "I overheard you both the other day. It didn't take me long to see how she was questioning me and what she was snooping in my office for."

Ludwig turned sharply on his heels to look at Gilbert, "Do you really find me weak that I can't-"

"I never said you were weak. Do not add words that never existed to this." Gilbert warned, "I went to her and asked for help for you. Yes, I do believe you need it and if anybody can get you to talk it's her."

Ludwig raised his hand to protest only to have Gil cut him off, "Nein!"

He watched as the anger rolled off his brother, "In truth West, I fully believe you need to talk to her. You saw so much that year, you still are haunted by it. I'm tired of seeing you struggle to even look at yourself. So, dammit, let her do her job. It's why you hired her!"

"You tell me that I am haunted by past yet you sit here on a high horse acting like it's nothing!"

"I am the memories of those times!" Gilbert slammed his fists down on the desk, "I am every soul that once breathed in those times. I am every person slain. I am every battle won and lost. I am nothing more but the painful, bloody, destructive memories of those pasts!"

Ludwig stood there, waiting to see what else Gil would throw out at him. He wasn't wrong sadly. Gilbert was nothing more but the memories of the Holocaust, WWII, and the Teutonic Knights and when they faded, so did he.

"Now, I'm not the only one that is seeing this and hoping you pull your stubborn head from your ass. Both Roderich and Delilah have asked if you have spoken with her along with Vash, and every meal Elizaveta makes it clear that she wants you to talk with the woman. So, dammit, do so!" he let out.

To talk about those days where a nightmare in his own mind, he hated reliving that day. He could still see her, all of them really. Feel the trust of Hanna and the betrayal of Sophie, and... he could continue down those memories.

"I'm taking the dogs for a walk." he said, making his way to the door only to pause when Gil grabbed his hand.

"Bitte Ludwig. Do this." Gil pleaded, "For everyone, for me. For you."

He shook Gilbert off, leaving him in his office as he went to look for his dogs. He searched every room he could figure them in, yet each place he went, it was bare. No pants of excitement nor running paws. Just silence. Even the back yard was quiet as he whistled for them. It was odd, they normally came running. Only other person that could know was Marie.

He made his way to her room, hoping that she had cooled down some after their fight. The last thing he needed was the viper to strike again. Slowly opening her door, he waited for a blowup.

"Marie?" he called calmly. "Marie, are you alright with me?"

Silence answered him, shit maybe she was giving the silent treatment. Opening her door all the way he looked in to see Berlitz watching him as he laid on her bed.

"You are not allowed on the furniture." he said to him, just to have Berlitz cock his head to him.

"Come on now, get down. Where are...you all are in here?" he said as Aster's and Blackie's heads came to look at him. "What are you doing in here?"

Ludwig didn't venture farther in as he could see why they were there. Low and behold, there laid Marie, fast asleep with the dogs as they shielded her with themselves. Well, to hell with the walk. The last thing he wanted to do was disturbed Marie. Spotting the large blanket, he grabbed the piece and attempted to cover her sleeping body, only to be growled at by the three of them.

"I'm just going to cover her up, nothing more." he said, once again attempting to place the blanket on her.

The three dogs let low, warning growls to him as he got closer, "Fine then. You keep her warm. To hell with me trying to be a good guy today it seems."

He stormed out of her room, leaving his pets behind with her as his own mind questioned what was going on within his home. Everyone liked her, wanted to be with her every moment they could, including Feli when he came over with Kiku. It was maddening and starting to drive him up the wall.

"What the hell does she have that I don't and what the hell did she do to my home?"


	4. Chapter 4

The hum of the fighter plane cut through the air as the exhaust filled her senses. She heard the men laughing behind her yet she paid them no mind. She knew she was better than them, he told her so.

"Was Machen Sie?" she heard.

Turning she saw the familiar blonde stroll up to her, his icy blues staring at her as she placed herself in the piolet seat, "Aus."

"Again, as usual." he smiled at her. "I swear you were born to be in the sky."

"Ja. That is true. Nothing like flying if you ask me." she laughed, starting the plane up.

"Sophie, bitte. Listen to me. You must stop this!" he spoke sternly with her friend, "If they find you..."

"You don't have to continue that statement." she watch from the room as the man gave grief to Sophie, ignoring her completely.

"I am trying to help you."

"You are a Nazi and if you can't see what they are doing, then be blind elsewhere!" Sophie shouted at him.

She, herself, could feel his torment but kept everything at bay, still afraid of what could happen. With a defeated sigh, he looked over her way.

"Odelia, please talk sense into her."

The nightmarish hell was before her again. She was frozen, numb, and stiff. She could hear the agonizing screams from the chambers, the smell of death and rotting flesh filled her nose, as her eyes burned with everything she could see. The red coat laid before her, the lifeless eyes of the little girl within the coat haunted her soul as she heard the cries once more.

 

Marie bolted upright from her bed, the dreams were slowly becoming more vivid than before as she wiped her brow. Those two women stood out. Hanna and Sophie. She dug a little into history and saw that the two were historical women of World War II, the aviator and test pilot and then the anti-Nazi activist. She pondered on everything of why they plagued her and reason to whom the mystery woman was. She looked throughout the war for am Odelia but found nothing of the sort. But of all things was the little girl that laid dead before her eyes. Every time she dreamed, she was there. It took everything in Marie's power not to bend to the need.

Throwing her legs over the bed, she mentally cursed the morning and made her way downstairs to the kitchen, ready to get the day over with. Her need had become still as of late, but training with Ludwig and Gilbert would do that to anyone when you had the two Germans breathing down your neck.

All she wanted so far from the morning was her damn coffee to wake her up and an Advil to kill the headache she endured after the nightmare. Once within the kitchen, she was greeted to a well fit sight of Ludwig. Granted, Marie had seen him work out and be only in a t-shirt but to view him shirtless and in his sleep pants was more than a cup of coffee could ever do to wake her. She watched as his body move gracefully around the counter, preparing an early morning meal as the pot brewed, amazed by the power of the muscles that laid under his taut skin.

That was her favorite thing really. To watch him work out and see the power that laid within him, yet around her he was so gentle. As if he was afraid he's break her. Not like there was anything to break, she did that years ago. She wasn't one to be attached to a specific spot on a man but his arms and back took the cake for her. The rawness she watched before her was enough to even forget about the coffee as he finally turned around, facing her.

"Oh, Guten Morgen Marie." he said, pulling her cup and filling it, "Sleep well?"

"Like usual."

"Sheisse then?"

"Ja." she smiled at him as she sipped the black liquid.

"So, are we going again this morning since we missed last week due to planning today's meeting?" he asked.

Ah yes, since the blowup in the home gym and Gilbert crawling up his ass, Ludwig finally broke down and started talking with her...ok not about the war but talking in general and their favorite thing was their questions and single answers in the morning. For two months, it continued as they played the little game. Such simplicity and fun, just to test waters and find things about one another.

"Yes. Is it me or you that starts this time?" she asked, hoping she could try and slip war questions in.

"I believe you."

"Alright then," she pondered, "Let's see. I think we left off with Skills."

"Fine then." he replied, sitting himself beside her at the table, "Training."

"Workouts."

"Drills."

"Cadence."

"Callings."

"Orders."

"Listening." he smiled at her.

Dammit, he was going to dodge them like last time, "Music."

"Traditional."

"Rock."

"Roll."

"Times."

"How does time go with roll?" he asked.

"Let the good times roll? Come on now, don't make me look dumb here." she laughed at him, "Ok, uh...oh, out."

"Roll out? Oh, roll out, retreat. Ok I see there. Ok, capture." he continued.

Now was her moment to add more military in, "Imprison."

"Restrain."

"Chains."

"BDSM."

Woah, did he really go there? "Kinky." Wait...did she just really reply that?

"Sex." Well, fuck.

There went the military find. "Fun."

"Very."

"Interesting?"

"Curiosity."

She really was curious of him now. With it, Marie had noticed that she wanted to spend more time with him and know him on a more personal level than before, one that she hadn't opened in a long while.

"Truth."

"Dare."

"Kiss me." Did she just...? Marie felt her cheeks flair red as it slipped past her lips. She really asked him to kiss her. And deep down, she prayed he would.

"Seriously?" she saw his brow furrow in wonder and question.

"Ja."

Before she could think of anything else, she felt his hand slide behind her head and pulled her to him, his lips molding to hers in a sweet, hidden passion that she never knew existed until that very moment. Marie wanted to sink into that feeling forever and never return for air, to just be one with him at that very moment. She brushed her hands against his neck, feeling him shiver under her touch as her fingers locked behind his head and tangled in his hair. It took everything in her being not to just sit on his lap and dive farther into the kiss.

Yet the need to breath won as they finally pulled apart. Shaky breaths met as she finally opened her eyes, his own icy blues looked at her. She was a mess for words as he smiled; yes, she was slowly becoming more smitten with him.

A tuff of white hair stood behind Ludwig's head, catching Marie's attention. Moving around him she was greeted with a familiar grinning devil. Marie let out a startled scream, as Ludwig turned to find Gilbert standing behind him.

"Finally made a move, Bruder." he smiled.

In a flash, both were out of the kitchen as Gilbert avoided Ludwig's grasp as he hollered at him in German down the halls.

"Seems I miss the excitement." Eliza said as she entered. "What did I miss?"

Marie smiled, reliving the kiss once more, "Oh, just the usual."

 

"How the hell do we accomplish anything if all we ever do is argue over everything?" Ludwig thought to himself as he reread the papers within his hands.

The meeting was nothing more but a disaster between them all. One having this thought and another thinking it was stupid, two complaining they were hungry, and the rest being themselves. It was aggravating to him. All he wanted was a little order in his home yet no matter how many times they came, it never happened.

With Genesis outside the boarders, it left a lot of suspicion and worry for him. He wasn't alone. Hercules had called earlier stating movement from his section along with Sadiq and Taj. Things were just starting to become out of hand.

The papers were clear as day to him that they needed to really think about everything and lay out a better plan, too much was at stake now. Maybe if he talked one on one and weighed everything?

"That might work." he said aloud as he headed toward the spare rooms in the home.

He knew the nations were filing things over with their own bosses. Making phone calls they all dreaded yet did to keep them happy. Just maybe he could grab a moment of their attention to figure ore out. As he approached the first door, he could hear the fancy bastard's voice behind the piece, it was now or never.

He opened the door, "Hey Francis, do you mind-Mein Gott!"

Brie let out a shocked scream as Francis pulled down her skirt, hiding her modesty from Ludwig. Ludwig couldn't believe what he was seeing, it wasn't possible, yet there it was. Francis, laying over Brie on the small desk, bright red with his own shirt untucked and unbuttoned as she hid her face from him.

"Oh, bonjour Ludwig. I wasn't expecting you." he said, looking down at his wife, "Um, do not mind me. I am just making another city. How can I help you?"

"Nein, I'm good now." he quickly closed the door as Francis waved him off.

He heard Francis speak seductively to Brie, only to earn a thwack to his head, "Ouch! What was that for?"

Shaking his head and the damn sight he was just given, Ludwig continued his way. "Knock next time dummkopf."

The next room in sight was where Arthur went to call his Queen, he was just hoping he was off the phone with the woman. A jet of water hit the window causing Ludwig to jump.

"What the hell?" he looked outside.

Out with the vehicles were Amber and Alfred, running around with the hose and buckets of soap. Alfred aimed the nozzle at her as Amber approached him like a wild cat on the prowl.

"Looking a little thirsty there babe." Alfred said, as she was nearly on top of him.

"Oh yea, I am." she said finally fully in front of him, grabbing hold of his crotch, "I'm thirsty for you."

She pushed Alfred into the side shed, leaving Ludwig wide-eyed at the window, "They're young and the other was Francis. I should've known better from the beginning."

Finally, he made it to Arthur's door, as he grumbled about the two horn dogs behind him only to hear Juliet's voice from behind the barely open door.

"You were a very naughty pirate, Captain Kirkland."

"Really now. How so?"

"You didn't make sure everyone got off port this morning. A terrible shame from such a skilled Captain."

"My dear, that is a shame. Seems like I have to reclaim my title."

Ludwig heard Arthur take Juliet to the floor as the woman giggle at his actions, "Oh Arthur."

He closed their door and shook his head once more. The one that he thought would have a level head was nothing more but a horny teenager now.

"Verdammt!" he stammered as he went to the final room, "If anybody is using the head on their shoulders it's-"

All Ludwig saw was Ivan pressed into the couch as Lily ground herself into him as she threw his coat and scarf off him.

"Leave your stockings on, podsolnechnik." he demanded as he rolled them onto the floor.

Ludwig walked away from the vast hall, as his mind was taken aback by the sights he had just witnessed.

"What the hell is with the fucking orgy?!" he shouted, giving up on the thought of speaking with everyone.

Of all things, during this time, how could they all think that it was a proper time to find fun within the damn sheets, or offices in this case? He couldn't tell if he was more appalled of the fact that they were screwing during a tough time of war or the fact that it was within his home. Finally, Ludwig found himself in the kitchen, away from the hall. He saw Yao busying himself around the stove as he cooked and Kiku speaking about their borders and how the Asian countries were protecting one another. He threw himself in the one chair, hoping to rid the sight from his mind.

"Speaking with the others not go as planned?" Yao asked.

"Hai, it seems you have hit a down fall." Kiku added.

"You don't even want to know." he replied.

"Come now Ludwig, it couldn't have been that bad?" Kiku questioned.

The side door burst open, as the hyper Italian came flying in, "Hey, hey. Yao I need to cook with you. Need to make a winner's meal."

"Winner's meal? For what Feli?" Yao asked.

"According to Francis, he and the others are in a race to make the next city." Feli beamed.

"Mein Gott, I'm done!" Ludwig yelled.

Kiku choked on his tea he sipped, coughing up what he swallowed as Yao started to snicker and shake his head. Only Francis could come up with something like that.

"Ve, what's wrong?" Feli asked.

"It's nothing Feli." Yao said, pulling a pot beside him, "Those two are a little too stuffy for their own liking."

"It's my home, I have every right to be this way!" Ludwig stated.

"Yes, and with this I have paperwork to finish in another part of the home." Kiku said leaving them all.

"I still don't understand." Feli spoke as he went to Yao.

"You know the art of men and women?" Yao asked.

"But of course, I'm Italian after all." Feli announced proudly.

"Then you already know." was Yao's reply.

Ludwig was shocked with them, well more Yao than Feli. True the Italians had their ways with the hearts of the women but Yao whom was almost as reserved as Kiku shocked him.

"I am older than all of you Ludwig." Yao spoke up, "I know how to treat a woman well."

"Ok, with that final gesture I'm leaving all of you for the time being. Need to get my head straight." he said, making his way out back.

The fall afternoon was gentle as he walked the small path, hoping to avoid anyone at all cost. Between the others and his own frustration of war, he just wanted a moments peace and quiet with nothing to worry over. The sounds of children laughing and giggling caught his ears along with dogs barking and commands being given. Looking up, he saw Marie playing with the dogs; giving sharp commands and new tricks for this pets and not far from her was Gilbert. Roughhousing and playing with the children. Either running from them or letting them tackle him to the ground. His eyes floated back and forth between the two of them, slowly relaxing at the sight of them.

"Have you forgotten what it was like?" he heard someone ask.

Turning around, he saw Elizaveta behind him, making her way to his side, "Oh Eliza, wasn't expecting you."

He looked back over to them as she joined in, a calm sigh leaving the woman, "It's best to enjoy moments like this now before they're no more."

"Please don't talk like that."

"Honest." she said. "And if you don't make yourself known, you'll lose out on everything you'll ever desire."

"Is that why you are so distant lately?" he asked.

"I have my reasons, just like you."

He shook his head at her, "And no, I haven't forgotten. I can still see him coming home from wars. All battered and bruised. Dried blood upon him with so many cuts. Yet he never stopped smiling for me, always took the time to make sure I was happy. I hated seeing him so hurt, but he never let me really see it."

"That is what makes him a good brother."

"I know."

His gaze went back to Marie. He watched as she had Berlitz flipping in the air for a ball, and Aster low-crawling towards her and Blackie searching for things within the flowerbed. Oddly enough, he felt his own heart race as he watched the gentle breeze tousled her wavy locks, as her voice carried commands and her body stretched out around the large beasts.

"If you aren't careful as well, you'll lose something else too." he heard Eliza say.

"How do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean." she smiled at him, walking back to the house.

Eliza puzzled him yet she made sense. Looking back at Marie, he knew what he had to do, just wasn't sure how to. There was only one person that crossed his mind to come to that point.

 

Ludwig made his way back down the hall, praying that the two hour wait he gave was enough to have the Frenchman get his rocks off. Gently he rapped on the door, waiting to hear moans from behind. Yet it opened, exposing the blonde to him.

"Ah, salut Ludwig." he moved aside letting him in, "I, uh, must apologize for earlier-"

"Please, let's not bring that up." Ludwig held up his hand. "I am here for your help in a different manner."

"Oh?" Francis perked up, "How so?"

"I feel like an ass, but how can I 'woo' someone? All I know is hard discipline and not much else." Ludwig asked, refusing to look at him.

"Oh-ho, trying to get into the little American's panties yes?"

"Nein!" Ludwig shouted, "Not that! I don't mean that, I mean as a friend and more and such. Not in a sexual favor."

"Well as you said being so disciplined and such, it seems you would lack in that spot as well if you are asking me."

"Nein dummkopf, I know how that works. I just want to impress her. Show her that I'm thinking of her. Not bedding her." Ludwig stated, "I know Brie didn't give you the time of day at first."

"Oui, she gave me a run around." Francis replied.

"So, that's what I want. How did you gain Brie?"

"Like you said. I wooed her. It took a couple of dates and such but it fell into place."

"You didn't do anything fancy?"

"Not really-"

"Francis." Brie interrupted the two of them. "I am having trouble getting Jacque to nap and I'm afraid he'll wake Satine. Do you mind?"

Ludwig watched the Frenchman smile at her. Giving a small nod to Ludwig, he left to aide his wife's dilemma. But Brie stayed with Ludwig, waiting for Francis to be away from them.

"Alright, he's gone." she said looking at him, "One, désolé for earlier and two, I heard you both talking."

Ludwig felt the heat creep to his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Don't worry." she said pulling her phone out, showing him the screen, "You really want to catch her heart fast. Buy her this."

He looked at the item in question, unsure of what to think, "This?"

"Oui. Believe me, all of us have talked and gotten to know one another and Marissa speaks the most with Marie, and this right here will win her over with you. You already made it to her interest with your conversations you have every morning, so this will definitely win her."

Damn, women had chatty mouths, but what more could he do? He sighed and nodded to Brie, hoping she'd help him out more that he could help himself.


	5. Chapter 5

For two days Ludwig waited for this day. For two days, he waited by the mailbox for the package. For two days, he planned how he would give her the gift and how she would react. And now on the full third day, her gift sat upon the vast table of the meeting room as he waited for her on the overlook to see her reaction. Yet as she entered the room with a heavy sigh, he was freaking out.

"Sie gross Baby!" Gilbert whispered to him, holding him in place.

"Let me go, I can't watch." Ludwig pushed against Gil.

"Nein, be a man." he said, pushing him against the bar. "You keep this up and she'll hear you."

Ludwig saw as Marie walked toward his chair, eyeing the blue gift bag. "Let me go!"

"Quit being a pussy and watch." he felt Gil lock his arms behind him, "If Brie says she'll like it then she will."

"How could she be so serious?"

"Girls talk. They're complex creatures that leave men clueless and yet wanting. They sit around for hours talking about nonsense and each other and discuss how we men are idiots about everything all because they tell us nothing. Simple as that. So, if she talks with Brie and the others, believe me they know what the woman likes." Gil whispered harshly in his ear, "And if you don't shush, she'll hear you and be warier of the present. So, shut up or I glue your eyelids open."

"You were supposed to help me, not torture me."

"I am helping you. By not having you puss out on this moment, now shut up because she's opening it."

Sure enough, Ludwig saw Marie pull open the bag and move the decorative papers aside. He wanted to shrink away, terrified of the thought. Gil wasn't wrong, women were complex and testy if you did the wrong things and he felt like he did. It took all his efforts not to close his eyes and pray she liked it as a small gasp filled the air.

"Luddy." he heard Gil whisper.

He saw Marie's eyes widen and her mouth agape as her hand clasped over it, a tiny chuckle left her. He watched as she pulled out the stuffed kitten with the pink bows that Brie showed him, smiling wider than he had ever seen.

"Marie!" she quietly exclaimed. "It's Marie!"

Ludwig relaxed under Gil's grasp, shocked that Marie liked the little plush. Marie sniffed back as she smiled at the gift, wiping her eyes as she sat in his chair, clutching the plush tight to her chest as she continued to tear up and giggle at it.

"There, worried over nothing now." Gil said finally letting him go.

"She's crying?" Ludwig questioned

"Happy tears Bruder, happy tears." Gil said patting his shoulder, "Now go down there and give the poor Frau a hug."

He didn't have to be told twice for that. Ludwig practically flew down to the main doors to hold Marie. His own emotions a little on edge after that show, opening the doors he saw the room was completely empty. Where the hell did she go?

"Ludwig?" he felt a gentle tap to his shoulder.

He whipped around to see Marie behind him, her eyes beaming brightly at him, "I wasn't snooping."

"I never said you were." she smiled, "Guilty conscious?"

"Nein?"

"Liar."

"Ok, just a little. I was just-" he was cut off as Marie wrapped her arms around him as the plush he had given her rested between the two of them.

"Danke schön Ludwig." she said to him.

Carefully, he placed his arms around her, pulling her tight against him, "'Gern geschehen."

It felt so right to have her like this, her body against his to the point he could feel her steady breath rise and fall. He could smell her perfume and her shampoo as he laid his cheek upon her head; yes, he wanted this.

"How did you know?" she questioned him.

"A little French birdie." he replied.

Marie laughed, pulling away from him, "Really Ludwig, thank you. This means a lot to me."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked? No, no, love. I love it."

"I heard you call her Marie."

Marie chuckled, "Remember when we did our questions and it was the one of favorite things?"

"Ja?"

"Well, you asked favorite movies. And I sat there for a good bit pondering on all the old movies I've watched, mostly 80's blockbusters but the one that stuck out most was my childhood favorite. The Aristocats." she replied, "Marie was the little kitten. I adored her so much due to her name as a child. Had a doll just like this as well growing up until I lost her at thirteen. I was practically devastated when it happened."

"Now you have a new one." he smiled at her.

"One that has a lingering scent of you." she added.

He could lie, he hid it briefly within his dresser, sitting it with his own colognes. "If you like it and are happy, I'm happy."

Ludwig moved closer to give her another hug as heavy running footsteps echoed the hall, "Ludwig!"

Looking up, he saw Alfred huffing as he made his way up to him, "Genesis just hit the waters of the Yellow Sea."

"They attacked?" he demanded.

"Not fully. It's more of a threat to us." Alfred said gesturing him to follow.

Ludwig looked back at Marie, "Don't worry Ludwig, I understand this business. I'll be waiting for you."

"Danke." he kissed her quickly and followed the American.

So much for the day with Marie.

 

She watched as he followed Alfred to the office, a small worry growing within her. Things were getting rough with the attacks being here and there and it all laid on him and the others. She waited for them to all head out to full war, to be gone for months on end to battle this terrorist group. She was terrified of the thought. She didn't want to see them all go to battle, to see war, or leave their families behind. It was something that dug at her heart.

Turning away, she headed down to the small parlor where she knew the girls waited for their husbands. The happy giggles filled the space as she entered the room, seeing the little ones playing as the women chatted.

"Marie." Brie smiled at her. " I see Ludwig spoiled you."

She couldn't help but chuckle at her, "Thanks to you."

"De rien. He was a bit of a nervous wreck when I saw him talking with my husband, sadly Francis's mind sits on one level."

"And that included you being horizontal most the time, huh?"

Brie laughed, "Not always. Shower sex is fun too."

Marie couldn't help but laugh with her, the world seemed to melt away with everyone within the room. The war far from thought as she knew the men were discussing it. She sat and listened to them as they spoke of fun times and what they would do once back in their home countries.

"How do you girls do it?" the question slipped out faster than Marie thought it would.

"Do what?" Amber asked.

"Not panic over the thought of war? That they'd have to go to war and fight, that they may never come home? You guys stand stronger than I would have ever imagined."

The four of them looked at each other, giving looks of puzzlement and wonder to words. Marie watched their bodies as the silently spoke to one another. No words were spilled yet their actions spoke volumes, and the biggest thing Marie saw was question of what to say to her. As if to keep her at bay with something.

"It tough dearie. I have to admit." Juliet finally spoke up, "It was scary last battle. I knew where Arthur was placed and heard of the bombings in that location, it terrified me."

"Da, same here. During my pregnancy with Alexei, we were in Ukraine while he was on the battlefield. I worried myself so much that I went into labor." Lily added.

"Truth is Marie, we are panicking, we just don't show it." Brie said looking over to the children, "We have to keep quiet and everything together for them. The last thing we need is to frighten the children with war."

Marie looked back at them again, she finally could see the fear within them. Worried that things wouldn't go as planned, and that they'd have to tell family and friends the news. But the hardest would be explaining to children why daddy wasn't coming home. She truly understood the women now.

"I'm sorry girls, I didn't mean to hit a touchy subject." she apologized.

"No, no Marie. Never apologize for something like that. It was just unplanned. We normally have moments to sit and think about everything, normally Marissa talks with us as well. She's just as much as a worrier as us with Mattie being involved as well. It's just something that, sad to say, you get used to." Amber stated.

Fussing began as Marie saw Satine scrunch up her little face in anger, Jacque wasn't far behind as Alexei and Liberty continued to play. Brie stood up from the girls, "Seems like naptime for my two."

She saw Jeanne walk over to her mother and ask something of her, only to be turned down. Jeanne walked over to Marie and saw the plush within her arms.

"Qui est-ce?" she asked Marie.

"Jeanne anglaise." Brie spoke as she took the two babes.

"Oui maman," she waved to her mother, "Who is this Miss Marie?"

"Oh!" Marie smiled, "This is Marie. She's from my favorite movie as a little girl."

"Really? Can I watch it?" Jeanne asked.

Marie sat there dumbfounded, unsure of what to do. She looked over at the other three only to find them deep in conversation. Her heart pounded in worry and hurt as she looked back at Jeanne.

She gave a small smile to her, "Sure. I have it with me. Let's go relax in my room to watch it."

Jeanne smiled up at Marie as she took her hand, pulling her to the door. Marie followed her, her own heart aching under its suffocation emotion as they made it to her room, just for Jeanne to bounce up on her bed. Marie watched as the little brunette settled herself against her pillows as she readied the movie to play. Sitting beside her, she felt Jeanne snuggled up against her as it began.

"Merci Miss Marie." Jeanne said as it started.

Holding back her emotions, Marie smiled down at her, gently wrapping her arm around her, "You're welcome sweetie."

As the familiar music began Marie felt tears prick her eyes as the memories of Adrian drifted back to her.

 

Before she knew it, the little girl's light snores pulled Marie back to reality as the end credits rolled as her tears continued. Fuck, she was a mess. Gently laying Jeanne in her bed and covering her up, she went to her office and rang the only person she trusted enough to talk.

As the laptop hummed and called her, Marie felt the burn and achiness return to her body, demanding her to get relief. To be numb.

"Marie?" the quiet voice answered sleepily.

"I'm sorry Marissa, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, no." she shook her hands, hiding a yawn, "It's alright. I'm more than happy to answer for you. What do you need?"

What did she need? It was something that she really couldn't answer herself really. She wanted so much yet gained so little with it.

"Marie, are you ok?" she heard Marissa ask, "Is it withdrawal?"

Ok she wasn't ready for that, "Nein, no. No use of anything sweetie."

"Are you sure? You're showing signs of it."

Looking at her hands, she saw how shaky and jittery she was. The sweat shined off her skin like glistening diamonds, as she felt herself grow warm. Was she?

"Marie, tell me what's going on, are you using again?" Marissa pushed.

"No. I can't. Not here."

"How can that be so, Marie you are-"

"I left my dealer in Boston!" Marie snapped at her, "I left everything there. My past, my ex, the memories, the drugs...his grave. It's all there. I have nothing here to deal with Marissa, nothing."

"Then dammit, what's causing these then?" the normal timid woman demanded, a small hidden Scot accent coming out, "I know your past of Adrian, Marie. I can only assume the worst. Please don't make me, I want to work with you and help you. Not see you fall and lose everything you worked for."

"It didn't start with Adrian or Trey, that's the thing." Marie said. "It started years before them."

"Then tell me that."

"You want truth?" Marie sighed, seeing the woman nod, "I have had dreams of women for years. One a pilot and one an activist. I watched as the pilot crashed her plane and saw the execution of the activist before my eyes. What killed me the most was the dead little girl I saw every time I closed my eyes and hearing someone crying and shouting that 'they didn't know'."

She saw Marissa give her a wide-eyed look, her mouth hanging open in awe, "And you know what sucks about it all. I not once, had peace. I went to multiple doctors and therapist. Hospitals and institutes to help me and nothing worked. They were always there. Threw every drug they could down my throat. I slowly became addicted to them. I just made it worse at fifteen with smoking and drinking, the sex and speed of racing just added a little adrenaline. At sixteen I was popping pills, stealing and fighting for whatever I could get my hands on. I graduated somehow with high honors and a college looking at me. I turned it down when my ex introduced me to my crutch for life, heroin. That is the hell I have endured Marissa."

Silence met Marie as she looked at the Canadian on the screen, watching as the woman mentally made words with herself. "So, am I crazy enough to be removed from this job?"

Marissa looked at her, "No. But I will say this. When you get the chance, talk with Brie, Juliet, and Lily. Amber can guide you like me but our pasts weren't as bad as theirs. They can help you way more than I can."

"How can four married women help me when they live perfect lives?" Marie asked.

Marissa smiled, "Not everything was perfect for them and I can say this. They can help you a lot more than you think they can."


	6. Chapter 6

"Talk with them, they'll be able to help you out more than you think." Marie muttered to herself as she made her way to the picnic area where the girls were waiting, "More like judge my sanity."

The calm autumn day was enough to normally relax her nerves but with everything rolling in her head, it wasn't going so well. Marie saw the tables as she got closer, hearing the women chatting and laughing with one another. In all honesty, she was glad she made the move to Germany. She gained new friends that didn't look down upon her or pressure her into shit, she enjoyed the sights and tastes of the noble country and she found herself falling for Ludwig more and more every day. Now all she had to do was survive her nightmares and needs a little longer till they disappeared.

"Hey there!" she heard someone say beside her.

Marie jumped at the suddenness from it, finally seeing Amber beside her, "Oops, didn't mean to scare you hun."

"It's alright." Marie shook her head, "Lost in thought, that's all."

"I bet you are." Amber said as they came up to the table.

"What do you mean by that?"

The trio of hellos came to her as Amber smiled at her, "Simple, talk."

"Talk what?"

"About your dreams and visions." Brie spoke up having Lily and Juliet nod at her.

Marie's eyes widened, they already knew, "Marissa beat you to me. I already gave them a run down. Now the rest is on you."

"Can't keep a fucking secret with you guys, can I?" Marie gritted.

"It's the fact we understand you-"

"You understand nothing!" Marie cut off Lily, "You haven't lived what I have? Don't sell me that bullshit of understanding."

"So, death before your eyes is something you think is natural or what people would judge as madness?" Brie questioned.

"You only know what-"

"What Marissa said, oui I do." Brie stopped Marie short, "Yet I do not mean only you."

Marie was at a loss for words, unsure of what to think or do, "You see Marie, we all have dreamed and had visions like you."

"And voices." Lily and Juliet chimed together.

"Oui, voices too." Brie agreed, "We understand so much more than you think."

Amber came up to Marie, holding something within her hand, "Now, I want you to do something. Hold your right hand out, palm up. I'm going to put something in it, and with your left I want you to touch the stone of my ring. Understand?"

What else was she really to do? The four of them stood there, waiting on her to do as told. Marie shook her head and held out her hand and touched Amber's ring. Amber dropped something cold within her palm and Marie felt her head begin to spin out of control. The sounds of fighter planes and German commands echoed her ears as gas and war filled her nose. She opened her eyes, unaware she closed them in the first place only to see what seemed to be a military base.

"Oh, my god." she whispered to herself, recognizing the air field.

She turned her head where she knew the plane would be sitting and there it sat, awaiting its pilot and there she was. Hanna Reitsch. The only woman in WWII to be rewarded Iron Cross First Class Luftwaffe. She watched as the woman hopped into the plane, followed by the German Nazi she had seen so many times before...Marie looked harder at the soldier as another one approached. The smaller one shouted at her, saying how awesome she was gaining the award from Hitler. She knew that voice.

She tried to get closer to only have the world blur and change once more around her, as everything cleared she found herself in Munich and to her horror, the execution of Sophie Scholl. The woman stood tall and head held high, her courage braver than her own. As Marie watched the death of the Anti-Nazi activist, she saw the same German soldier approach a smaller woman, hidden within the shadows of the execution. He whispered harshly at her in German, pushing papers into her hands as he pulled a little girl from a small door. Marie couldn't believe it, the little girl she always saw dead before her was alive and breathing. Her red coat was vibrant as her blonde curls bounced on her head as the woman pulled her along. The more Marie looked at the woman the more she realized she looked like her.

"Herr Beilschmidt." Someone called out, "Was denkst du?"

"Deutschland wird triumphieren." the man replied.

Beilschmidt? He couldn't mean? Moving closer to the man, Marie watched as he took off his cap just to stumble back in shock. There before her was Ludwig, speaking with Nazi soldiers and he one himself. There was no way. It couldn't be.

Marie attempted to move to him, only to be frozen in place as she felt the world spin once more. This time, landing her in the hell she dreamed. The smell of death and decay overcame her as she saw hundreds of bodies in mass graves, the chambers being thrown open as more came falling out. She wanted to shrink away as her body became cold and numb to the world as she looked upon the mass graves. The light tinge of red stuck out as she saw the red coat sitting out, the same one the little girl had and there she was. Her lifeless eyes staring out into nothing as her little hand held onto someone's. Following the arm Marie cringed back, slamming her hand over her mouth as tears poured from her, there she was. Herself. Lifeless, dead, decaying with hundreds of others.

"I didn't know!" she heard the familiar cry.

She didn't have to turn to see, she knew the voice so well now, but her head turned to see the source. Marie wanted to just crumble and disappear as she saw Ludwig on the ground, his hands cuffed as he was forced to look at the death before them. She saw two men beside him, as she looked she recognized them as well. Ivan stood next to him, his gun down as he showed little emotion to Ludwig's plea, yet Francis knelt beside him, knowing that he spoke the truth.

"Ludwig." Marie whispered only to find herself back with the girls.

"Marie!" they shouted as she felt her back hit the table.

Marie gasped and felt her knees give out on her as she fell to the ground, the women wrapped their arms around her as she tried to figure out the hell she just went through.

"The fuck was that?" she demanded.

"You have to tell us what you think it was?" Amber said rubbing her arm.

Marie just stared at the four of them, trying to understand what she meant as something cold caught her attention. Looking down into her palm she saw the Iron Cross sitting there, gleaming back at her as if it was meant to be there since the day she was born. She couldn't take her eyes off it, she just looked at the piece as the visions came to her mind. Seeing Ludwig and the girls and what happened to them all, it slowly came together.

"Is it bad that it makes sense?" Marie asked them, her eyes never leaving the Cross.

"No." they chimed.

"What am I?" she heard her voice quiver.

"Unique." Juliet replied, "Like us."

"How like you?"

"Well, for Brie and I we suffered pretty harsh memories." Lily said, "I saw Anastasia be shot along with her family as I heard her true love cry out after learning of her death."

"And I felt the deaths of Marie Antoinette and Jeanne D'Arc." Brie continued, "I woke every morning with burns and a single cut across the back of my neck. The same way they died."

"You see sweetie, you aren't alone in this. Amber and I had memories as well. Ours weren't as graphic but still one hell of a damn trip." Juliet added.

"And with those visions and dreams it makes more sense of you being here. So, I do have one question, ever have an old woman come up to you, tell you something and magically disappear?" Amber asked.

Marie thought back as far as she could when the old nurse came to mind, "Before coming here I had to be cleared for things, and the nurse that took my chart asked me why I was going. I told her not thinking anything else of it. But what she said sent a chill down my spine, "You'll understand the girls once you're in Germany." Not once did I bring any of that up to her. When I went to ask how she knew, she was gone."

"Time Keeper." Amber sighed, "Mischievous people."

"Can you really call them people?" Juliet asked.

"Wait a minute, so you guys are telling me that Hanna and Sophie are souls trapped in my body and they are important to me being in Germany?" Marie questioned.

"Pretty much." Brie replied.

"So, Ludwig is either a reincarnated soul or really fucking old along with your two husbands." she said pointing at Brie and Lily. "So why do I see Odelia and the little girl? They weren't important historical people."

Marie looked at them, seeing question within their faces, "What?"

"What do you mean? Each person you gain is a reason of time and historical importance. Are you saying you have two random souls within you?" Amber asked.

"I must. But I don't know. I saw them with Ludwig and when they were dead he was crying over it all as your husbands were next to him." she stated.

"Wait a moment, Feliks!" Lily announced, gaining questionable looks, "Remember when he got Riko. She had a historical soul within her and a smaller one that made no sense, but when he figured out it was a human friend of his before WWII that gave him information about Germany that was killed by the Nazis. When he realized, it was her, he gave thanks and said goodbye, the soul finally having rest. Kind of like Anastasia and Catherine for me with Ivan. I never had silence like you all when you figured it out but when he said what he needed to me, or to them to be correct, it was then they finally left and I gain the Capital title."

"Capital?" Marie nearly shouted.

"Oops, spoke too much." Lily winced.

Marie couldn't help but laugh, "Ok I think we all need to talk to Marissa because I think we are all crazy at this-"

"Marissa is Ottawa." Amber cut her off.

There was no way this was real, "You are telling me that Marissa is the capital of Canada?"

"Da, and I'm Moscow." Lily replied.

"London."

"Paris."

"And Washington D.C." Amber smiled lightly at her, "Which then would make you-"

"Berlin?" Marie just stared at them. "It's crazy this can't be real. But why does it seem like it is?"

"Because it is darling." Juliet said. "It's all real. As long as you accept your visions and such, you will become Berlin."

"If that is the case, then the men that represent the countries are the countries, am I correct?" they all nodded at her, "Jesus. I'm falling for fucking Germany."

"Speaking of, I think you need to let him know that you now know too. It will alleviate some of his worry around you." Amber added.

Marie looked at them all again, everything whirling in her mind as it all came together like a massive fucked up puzzle. They were right, she needed to see Ludwig and talk with him. Giving a small nod, she got up and hugged them all, slowly making her way to the house as her mind replayed everything once more.

For years, she struggled to figure out what was what and why it was happening to her yet here she was in the heart of the source and finally with answers. Strange answers, but answers nonetheless. For once she felt whole, complete really. That there was nothing in her way to stop her from being whom she was really meant to be and that, as strange as it was, was Berlin and being with Ludwig. Her thoughts ran to him and the heartache he endured during those times as well. She understood why Gil had her talk with him and why it was so hard too. Now she had to work on getting him to open up to her.

As the main doors came to view, she sighed in relief as everything washed away from there. There really was nothing-

"Hey Marie. Long time hiding." His slimy voice called out, making her stop in place.

Marie felt herself begin to shake, the need boiling within her veins as the haunting memories of Adrian floated back to her. He found her, the worthless bastard found her.

 

"Dude, you seriously can't be upset over a damn tattoo? Come on, it's something that means something to her." Alfred scolded him.

"It's not that I'm upset over it." Ludwig told the man, "To be honest I'm just slightly jealous. If you could hear her talk about him you'd understand. He walked on water when she does mention him yet she won't go any farther about it."

"Maybe there's a deeper reason behind it and she isn't comfortable with you knowing it." he replied. "Just let the woman be."

Ludwig just sighed. He felt like an idiot being jealous over something so small but ever since Gilbert pointed out the hidden tattoo upon her shoulder, it had gotten to him every time they brought up the damn thing. He tried to ask her about it and get some information yet all he got was a shrug and a later from her. It drove him nuts really.

"Daddy!" the quiet hall echoed.

"Hey Libby Bell!" Alfred exclaimed as the little blonde bounded to her father's arms. "Whatcha doing?"

Liberty smiled at him, "Daddy, mommy say bath time."

"Oh, it's bath time huh?" he repeated.

"No! I don't want to."

"Why not?" Ludwig asked.

"I want to play with Lexi."

"If mommy says bath time then it's bath time, daddy won't argue." Alfred told the pouting tot.

"Vati afraid he will get in trouble if he spoils little one?" Ludwig joked with him.

"I deny mommy in any way and daddy has his ass handed to him." Alfred sighed at him, "Alright Super Girl, off to the bathtub."

He watched Alfred hoist the little girl over his head as he ran down the hall, her arms out as if she was flying, giggling all the way to their room. Ludwig couldn't help but laugh at the sight, Alfred was still so young compared to them yet he matured so much with Liberty and Amber.

A flash caught his eye toward the front door, "What the hell?"

Reaching the door, he looked out to see Marie talking with a man. Her peach blouse seemed out of place, like someone hauled on the light fabric. Her black skirt was slightly dirty as she pushed the man away. What was going on? The more he looked the more he realized she was fighting with the man and it was getting heated. Closing the door behind him, he moved closer to them, slowly waiting to see where this would go. He noticed that Gil wasn't far from them either, Roderich and Vash at his side, throwing questioning looks at them. Gil stood still, tall, patient. He had seen that look before and it was one that he was wary of.

"Fuck off!" Marie shouted gaining all their attentions.

She was pissed off at this man and he was just as equal with that feeling. He grabbed onto Marie's arm, yanking her towards him, hissing something at her. Marie pulled away from him only to have the man backhand her. Ludwig couldn't remember leaving the door, nor practically being on top of Marie, all he could see was red and he wanted to knock the bastard out of his country.

Gil beat him to it though, he had kicked the man against the tree as Vash and Roderich held him there.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" Gil shouted at him.

Ludwig's attention went to Marie as she sat upon the ground, cupping her cheek. "Marie?"

"Take me in Ludwig. I want away from him." she whispered as she began to tremble.

"What? I just came back for what was once mine." the man said.

"What's yours?" Vash questioned.

"You don't own her." Roderich stated.

"Believe me, you people can't give her what I can and she knows it." he sneered at them, "She needs me."

"What the hell do you mean?" Gil asked, "Fuck it, who cares. Why's your ass here?"

"Ludwig, please." he heard Marie plead to him.

He gathered her in his arms, gently lifting her to her knees, "You wouldn't want her. Not after the boulder that dropped out of her, ruined the goods."

Wait what? Ludwig looked at the man. His teeth were yellow as his lips were cracked and split, his hair a greasy mess and his skin bruised and battered. Drugs were written all over him. Roderich noticed his gaze as well, pulling up the man's sleeve revealing multiple tracks on his skin.

"What would a druggie know?" Vash pushed on him.

"Believe me, I'm the best thing that walked into her life." he smiled at them.

"Best thing?" he heard Marie repeat. "Best thing?"

"Come on Marie, tell them."

Marie stood up, her hands shaking as her breaths became heavy with anger, "Best thing?! Are you fucking kidding me? You destroyed me! You destroyed everything I ever had, ever loved, you took it all away from me!"

"Marie?" Ludwig tried to grab her arm but she shook him off.

"I still helped you." the man sighed.

Marie dodged for him, Gil caught her as Ludwig wrapped his arms around as she screamed, "It's your fault, you ruin my life. You got me addicted to that hell and then when I finally had happiness you took it away. You worthless fucking murderer, you killed him! You killed him in your drugged up drunken stupor! You murdered him!"

"I wasn't fully there. Rehab helped me get away from that past and I'm better now." he said to her, "I swear I've been a good boy."

"My ass you have." she hollered at him, "There's a special place in Hell for you to rot!"

"Marie stop, calm down!" Ludwig tried to reason with her as she thrashed around to grab the man.

But it was no use, "You killed him, you killed Adrian!"

Ludwig paused slightly; Adrian, the person she spoke so highly of?

"You killed him, it's your fault he isn't here anymore! You did it! You killed him, you killed him, you killed my Adrian!" Marie continued to scream at him, only to pause for a brief second as her emotions finally spilled before them all. "You killed my baby!"

There were no words to be found from them, just her cries filled the space as reality sunk in, "You killed my Adrian, my baby boy! He wasn't even six months old and you killed him, he was just a baby!"

"He was a fucked-up mess anyway, I did him a favor."

Ludwig didn't even get a chance to connect his fist to his face, Gil had him on the ground as he kicked and punched the bastard. Vash finally dragged Gil off him as Roderich hauled up the unconscious man.

"Ludwig." he heard Gil say to him.

Marie's cries pierced his ears and his heart as she sobbed within his arms, "Take her inside. She doesn't need any more of this shit. We'll deal with him.

He didn't have to be told twice as he lifted her bridal style, her face pressed against his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his neck. Never had he wanted someone dead so badly until now, he wanted to see that bastard's blood run along the ground after he had a couple rounds with him. But the shudder and cry from Marie was his only focus at that moment, and to try and get her to the woman he knew before hand was going to be a battle he wasn't sure he could win.


	7. Chapter 7

The afternoon storm that slowly came in made her emotions fit right in. She let it all out finally, just not the way she planned. Trey, that piece of worthless shit, came out of nowhere and brought back the hell she escaped. As the rain gently patted against the window her mind ran through the day's events; learning she was to be a Capital and that the women in her dreams were to help her in some sort of way and then the douche finding her and Gil, Vash and Roderich putting him in his place, and Ludwig...she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall again. The man was a blessing now, he never left her side as she cried over her boy. Held her through every minute of it, never saying a word but kissing her head and rubbing her back and arms.

Before coming to her office, she saw Gilbert give a rundown to the others on what happened just hours ago. She watched as they all stood there stunned that it even happened, most of them gathering their children in their arms, afraid that if they'll let them go they too would be gone. Yet for her it was reality.

"Marie?" she heard Ludwig enter her office.

Looking over, she watched as he came over to her, mug in hand. "Nein Ludwig, danke."

"I figured, just brought it just in case." he said setting it down on her desk as he joined her on the window nook.

Her eyes found themselves back out into the rainy landscape as her tears threatened to spill again. Clutching the plush tight to her chest, she tried to keep herself together.

"Es tut mir leid." Ludwig sighed.

"For?"

"Being jealous of Adrian."

Marie was taken aback by the sudden confession she never knew existed, "What do you mean? I didn't know you were jealous at all."

"I wasn't at first but when Gil saw the tattoo and how you talked so highly of him, I stupidly assumed it was a lover. Not a baby." he confessed, his eyes never meeting hers.

"There's no need to apologize, I never spoke of him. Doesn't shock me that it raised questions with him."

"Still." he said looking at her. "It was wrong of me."

"Don't worry of it." she looked back to the window.

"I know it hurts Marie, but could you tell me about him." he asked, "I'm curious to learn the true depth of you."

Marie chuckled lightly, "Curiosity killed the cat huh?"

"But satisfaction brought it back." he smiled at her.

She sighed at the saying, knowing he was curious of her, and he had every right to be, "To begin of him, I have to start where my original hell began."

"For years, I had dreams of three women and a little girl. Everyday I'd see them alive and everyday I'd see them either crash or die. I went to multiple doctors and hospitals to find the answers and relief to the nightmarish hell. But there was nothing." Marie began, still feeling the needles and test she went through, "My family gave up finally, I began to cost them too much so they focused on everything else but me. I tried to get rid of the nightmares myself, just sad to think a child of thirteen contemplate suicide to end the madness.

"By fifteen I had ventured out onto the streets of Boston. I was never home and no matter where I went I caused trouble. I got into fist fights, smoked and drank like mad, raced cars for quick money and title, and laid with anyone I could. I just wanted to be numb. As I got older I started popping pills to rid the hell, somehow, I passed high school and had colleges looking at me. Of course, at eighteen, he introduced me to the only source of silence and numbing that I got, heroin. It was amazing to be back then. I could get high and feel nothing, I didn't dream and I didn't hear them either. I was at peace as I was killing myself.

"Then one day I was violently sick. Had no clue what I got myself into as I brought up my guts. The girl that we were living with laughed and handed me a card. 'Better get yourself scraped' were her words, it didn't register at first until I read the card. It was an abortion clinic. Sadly, I thought it, I was right at the front doors of the place. I didn't need a kid, I was fucked up as it was. I wasn't going to drag a kid with me to hell. But when I took two steps closer to the building I swear it was an epiphany for me, I just stood there as the vision of a little baby laid within my arms, just staring so innocently at me. I bolted from the place and ran to the hospital, begging them to help me. They got me in a rehab center and I busted my ass that entire time. I cut cold, hurt like a mother but the baby was worth it along with my education. I finally passed the college course to get me what I needed to be the counselor before you, and the next day I went into labor.

"I can't explain how it was Ludwig but it was as if Heaven touched me as I looked at him. He was my saving grace and my hope to live. I ignored the doctor's words to me about him. That he wouldn't even make a month. You see his heart was weak along with his kidneys. He had a lot of issues, but it never stopped his curious eye. And he proved them wrong too, he was six months old when..." Marie gave a heavy sigh as she felt the tears sting her eyes, "Adrian was five months old when Trey came knocking. He was sobbing, begging for forgiveness and that he was getting clean for us. I was hesitant at first but got his records as proof. Stupid me let him in. It was ok at first, if one of us had a spell we'd lean on each other and focus on Adrian. He helped around the place and had a job, took care of him as well. He was becoming someone new to me and I was happy with it.

"Then one day I got a call of a Vet attempting suicide at the hospital. I told Trey I'd be back and kissed Adrian goodbye and promised to tuck him in that night. I wasn't even an hour. " Marie shuddered as her lip trembled as she recalled that day, "I remember coming out into the main entrance and seeing the one nurse that helped me through my pregnancy. I went to talk to her but her eyes made me stop, she had the face of heartbreak and guilt. She shook her head at me as she started to cry, it was then I knew what happened...or so I thought. I don't remember heading down to the E.R. or confronting the doctors, asking for Adrian. They kept denying me access back. I was so determined that it was his heart that failed him and they were trying to get it to beat again, that's when I saw the officers drag Trey out. Just looking at his face was enough for me to see he used, and used heavily. Right there, I put two and two together.

"I fainted, my heart just couldn't take it. I woke up in a hospital bed, as the nurse sat on the edge of the bed, gently patting my leg. I just remember asking her if it was a dream, her tears were my answer. I think I was still in shock, I didn't cry or anything but just sat there. She walked over to this bassinet, and lifted something from it. She could've lost her job with what she did, but it was my only solace I had. She placed Adrian in my arms. The bright smiling, happy, giggling baby that was my son was gone. His body limp and cold, his eyes never opening; it was a nightmare I wanted to end but I knew I was awake. The one doctor came in and told me what happened, said Adrian's heart stopped on the first impact, that he felt nothing. Those words meant nothing to me, my baby suffered and I wasn't there to protect him. They all finally left me alone for a bit, and it was there I finally lost all hope and love."

Marie felt Ludwig pull her legs across his lap as he pulled her close to him, she couldn't help but lean against him, her eyes never leaving the dreary sight of the rain.

"I'm so sorry Marie."

"You would've loved him, everyone would've. He had a smile that silenced a room, bright blue eyes that glittered and a giggle that made everyone around him laugh. He was the sweetest thing on earth." she said to him, her tears finally falling, "I want my baby back, Ludwig. I miss him so much."

Ludwig wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest as he tried his best to comfort her crying. For her though, it was no use. Her heart ached for Adrian and the disappearance of that murderer. She wanted the pain to be gone or to just take her away, but in doing that she would lose everything she had gained coming to Germany, including Ludwig.

"At least I found answers to my own dreams here." she said finally calming down.

He hummed in question at her, "Just didn't think I'd fall for Germany, literally."

She felt him pull her, looking at her with wide eyes. "Yes Ludwig. I know now, thanks to the other Capitals. Hanna and Sophie are in me along with two others."

"Two others?"

"I don't know the girls name but the one she was with was Odelia."

Ludwig stiffened against her, that wasn't the reaction she was expecting. Looking up at him, she was his eyes focus into nothing, the thousand-yard stare. The one of memories and pain. "Luddy? It's ok, you don't have to tell me anything yet. When you're ready."

The buzzing of his cell caught them both off guard, he looked at the screen and gave a sigh, "I'm sorry Marie. It's my boss. I'll be back."

"Don't worry. I'll be here." she said as he went out the door, only to see Lili enter with a box in hand. "Hey sweetie."

"Guten Tag Marie. This box is addressed to you, it was sitting out front." she said handing her the box.

"Oh, danke." Marie took the box from the little one as she heard Vash calling for her.

"I have to go, Bis dann!" she smiled, leaving Marie alone.

"Auf Wiedersehen." she placed the box on the table as she tried to figure out what it was.

No return address, only her name. The box was quiet as she shook it and no damage to it either to make her question anything. With a shake of her head, she opened the box revealing a note on top.

Remember the good times.

Looking in the box, she felt the need scream at her as it came to reality of what it was. Her heart raced and her body shook. The memories and dreams raced through her head as her gaze never ventured from the contents and within her head, she felt that there was nothing left for her and it was all she had to keep a hold of reality.

 

He might as well have been hit by a tank with what just happened. He at least felt that way. That bastard coming here and hurting her and then listening to her past and about Adrian was enough to give him a headache and make his own heart ache. He wanted to do whatever it took to make her comfortable but that was something he had to learn as well, it was the reason why he was searching for Juliet. If anyone could help, it'd be the nurse.

"Ludwig?" he heard someone call him.

Turning around, he found the very person he was searching for, "Juliet."

"How is she?" she asked, "I talked to Marissa, got a better idea of things. It's best to ask in this sort of situation."

All he could do was sigh, "I believe alright. She's a mess to be honest, and I really don't know what to do."

"Keep her talking, do good things with her. Small walks, dates, things to keep her mind off it. She may have used and we were not aware of it so we must monitor her; excessive sweating, jitteriness, vomiting and severe aches and pains with fever show up, its withdrawal. If she talks of it, listen. Nothing is more important than that. Marissa will try her best, but as of now business wise she's out."

"Why is Marissa out?"

"Her water broke when I was on the phone with her." she stated, "Just know this, if anything happens, don't hesitate to call me."

"Danke Juliet."

"Anytime." he watched as she turned back, heading toward Arthur as they spoke with Eliza.

He found himself in the study, trying to collect his thoughts. Between Juliet's medical advice and the story of Marie's he was just ready to call it a day and just relax.

"West?"

Looking up he saw Gil enter the room, his own eyes somber with the truth of Marie as he wiped his hands clean.

"Eliza will kill you if you stain her towels." Ludwig warned.

"Ja I know and so did Roderich and Vash, didn't stop us any." Gil smiled.

"Did you get some in there for me?" he asked.

"Ja we did." Roderich said entering the room as he grabbed his keys, "We all did. Especially for her."

"She's Berlin." he suddenly announced.

Roderich stood there taking in his words as Gil clapped his hands together, "I told you prissy-pants, you owe me."

The aristocrat sighed, handing him the money in question as Gil snickered at him as he left to join his wife outside. The two of them sat in silence as the afternoon slowly rolled by, letting the calm quiet echo the house as Eliza entered the room.

"Oh, there you are," she said, "Are you helping me for tonight Gil?"

"Ja, ja. I will. Everyone leave already?"

"Arthur and Juliet are the only ones left yet. Marie seems to be doing fine." she said.

"You checked on her?" Ludwig asked.

"No, she came down for a spoon for her tea you brought up.

"What?" Ludwig questioned, he made her coffee not tea and she drank it black, what was the spoon for?

"That's what she said. She kept rubbing her arm as she talked to me, poor thing; I can't even imagine the pain she's in." Eliza explained.

Ludwig felt uneasy as Eliza and Gilbert continued to talk, something didn't seem right. Dismissing himself from them, he made his way upstairs to her office. Juliet's words rang in his head as he stood before her door, he wanted her to be at peace yet after hat he worried like mad. Opening the door, he saw her standing by her desk, looking down upon the wooden feature. Maybe he was worrying too...the spoon caught his attention along with the lighter beside it. He walked in to hear her erratic breathing as she stretched her left arm out, placing something along her arm. No.

He bolted to her, wrapping his arm around her as the other held her right hand. Sure enough, there in her hand was a syringe, full of liquid, the same that sat within the spoon.

"Marie nein!" he yelled at her as she began to resist him.

"No! Let me go, I need it!" she fought him, trying to press the needle to her skin.

"Marie, lass es gehen. Sie brauchen es nicht! Let it go now!"

"Let go of me!"

"Nein, drop it! Bitte, don't make me hurt you Marie." he pleaded with her, only to have her attempt to hit him, "Fine then."

He squeezed her hand, placing pressure between her thumb and pinky joints; with a quick pop, she let out a pained gasp as the needle finally fell to the ground. She pushed back against him, trying to shake his hold on her, attempting to go back for the damn thing. Somehow, he was able send a quick help to Arthur as she nearly toppled him to the ground.

"Jesus Marie, enough. I don't want to hurt you." he tried to reason with her.

"I need it! Let me go!" she screamed again at him, throwing herself towards the desk.

She got under him slightly and pushed him back, smashing his back into the hard wood. He gritted his teeth as he could hear running footsteps outside the door. "Marie please."

"Bloody hell!" he heard Arthur throw open the door as Gil and Juliet came in.

"Dammit! She's far in." Juliet said as she pulled her own syringe out. "Gil grab her arm."

Ludwig attempted to wrangle the limb for him but Marie was having no part of it as her nails caught Gil, "Verdammt!"

"Good lord Juliet, you can't expect to put a needle in her like that, she's worse than a snake, they can barely hang onto her." Arthur told his wife.

"Lay her down boys, Arthur help them. We're going to need all the muscle we can get." Juliet said.

"I'll help." Eliza came into the room.

"Grab her legs Arthur, Ludwig lay yourself across her torso, Eliza hold that arm and Gil hold this one." Juliet ordered as they wrestled her down to the ground.

The moment they got her on the ground, she was off on another fit of strength and power, "How the hell can she be this damn strong?"

"I think she took beforehand and it's adding one hell of an effect love." Juliet spoke to her husband as she readied the needle. "Blast I can't find a vein. Wait there's one."

Juliet pressed the syringe to her and Marie thrashed under them all, "Dammit, she bent the needle!"

"Did you get it in?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, it's in."

Tremors started to leave Marie as she slowed down and became weak against them all, "There it's taking effect. You can get off her legs Arthur, Eliza come down here, Ludwig will hold her hand."

He didn't have to be told as he entangled his fingers with hers, listening to the gentle tears slip past her. Eliza and Juliet cleaned her arm as Juliet popped her two fingers back into place, finally giving Gil the ok to let go.

"She's ok now Ludwig." she said. "Why don't you take her to bed, she's going to need it."

Gathering her in his arms, he hoisted her against his chest and made his way to the door, "Ludwig, here. Take these two, they're the same thing I just gave her. She starts to have another episode, stick her. She might have pains so just provide comfort and ibuprofen for now. And we're putting the box in your office for now."

His head spun around at her but she placed a finger to her lips, pointing at Marie and then to her ear. "She's listening. We need to keep her calm, let her think they're here for now. We'll destroy it." she mouthed to him.

With a nod, he carried her to his room. Her tears still falling onto her cheeks as he placed her on his bed, keeping a sharp eye on her. She scrunched up in pain as she laid upon her belly, more tears falling from her with shaky breaths.

"Marie, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting beside her.

"It hurts Ludwig, it really hurts." she cried into his pillow.

Ludwig looked down at her trembling body as the drug did its work to her. How could he give her another if it affected her like this? He wanted to take his own hand off for popping her fingers, let along sticking a needle in her. He placed his hand on her lower back, trying to calm her body only to have her wince in pain.

"I'm sorry Marie, I'm trying the best I can." he apologized.

"No, keep going. I want it." she said.

"But it hurts you."

"Ludwig please."

With that he continued through her shudders and hisses in pain, he hated that she was like that, a mess beyond messes. He was determined to get her out of this hole, if it was the last thing he did. His hand brushed the blouse tight to her skin, to show the outline of her tattoo. Curiosity got to the best of him as she moved the material down; to his own awe, the tattoo was more than he would've thought. There upon her back were the prints of Adrian's feet, moving toward Heaven's gate to be greeted by an angel, his name and dates laid underneath the gate.

Ludwig couldn't stop himself as he pressed a kiss to both little feet. Marie looked back at him in question, "What was that for?"

He just sighed, "I thought someone else should show him love besides his Mutti."

He watched as her tears welled up in her blue eyes, a silent thank you to him as she pressed herself against the bed. It felt right doing that as he continued to rub her back. Finally, her breathing became steady with sleep, a true peace for her being. Ludwig unbuttoned and took off the dress shirt, draping it over her sleeping frame.

Quietly he left the room, hoping that the sleep she'd get would calm her more than anything. He knew Gilbert would destroy that box with no issue. As he made his way to her office and room, he was going to be sure that there would be no more issues like this again, even if it meant him searching till the morning hours, he was making sure no drugs would be in his house and away from his Marie.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sexual themed chapter

Her body was aching, her blood felt like lava, her senses were going mad, and her mind was racing. Marie wanted to bury herself into hell itself to escape the agony running through her. Her memories flashed before her eyes as everything came together, it was here. The need screamed at her to take, to end the pain and be numb, to escape the reality she was in only for a moment.

"Just one hit. That's all, and then you're off." she muttered to herself as she pushed herself off the pristine bed.

Looking around she saw no sign of Ludwig within the room except his shirt that was draped over her shoulders. Pulling the fabric closer, she could smell him lingering on the piece, his rich scent that made her melt into him. Her thoughts moved to Ludwig, taking again would hurt him and he'd be furious with her. Yet the need over powered her thoughts as she slowly left the room, heading to his office. Deep down she wondered if it was really in there or if they said it knowing she could hear them, either way she was searching that office like it was no one's business.

Cautiously she entered the room, praying the man was nowhere in sight and to her luck he wasn't. Quietly closing the door, she began her search for the box. She felt her fingers glide over everything as her body screamed to be numb or to replace the pain with more pain, she had to find it and fast. Every spot she checked, every nook and cranny was empty to her; not one sign that the box rested in here. She was growing desperate, she needed it.

"Where the hell would he keep it?" she said throwing open the last desk drawer finally seeing something buried under the files, "Finally."

There laid the box, waiting for her to open it and relieve herself. Placing it upon the desk, she looked at the door once more, waiting for it to open as Ludwig came in, yet it didn't. Marie sighed, her mind still racing between right and wrong but her need won the battle. She felt her body twitch as she lifted the lids and looking within it, but to her dismay, it was empty. Nothing laid within it. The powder was nowhere in sight nor the needles that would help her get the high and numbing she desired.

"No." she whispered as she reached her hand in the box. "No, it can't be. Where is it?"

Her tremors became harsher as she looked upon the large desk, praying it just fell from the box yet there was nothing on or around the desk. Fuck, they did get rid of it. They knew she'd search for it, they knew she would need a hit. Fuck it all to hell. Marie thought of what else to do as her body felt weaker as the pain and need roared through her body. Pain. That was all that was left, there was nothing else she could use to get what she wanted, except pain and the only way she'd get that was abusing her body in the home gym.

"Fuck." she muttered under her breath as she turned to the door, only to slam into something.

Looking up her eyes widened in fear as Ludwig looked down at her, disappointment laying within those icy blues. "Ludwig."

"What are you doing Marie?" he asked.

She knew this question and his point in asking it as well, fuck she was cornered and there was no way she could lie.

"I... uh... I was um... I was well... uh... " she stammered as she tried to think of a reason.

He walked around her, making his way to the desk as she stood there like a blundering fool. He knew why she was in there and he wanted to see if she'd say anything, but she choked on the very words. He looked back at her, waiting for her reply, his eyes never leaving hers. She had to say something, just something.

With a defeated sigh, Ludwig held something up to her, "Is this what you are after?"

The world stilled as he held a full needle within his hand, holding it for her to see; slowly he placed it down on the desk and left it there. What the hell was he up to?

"I know what you are after Marie and as of now have two options. One, find another way to curb this. Talking with Marissa and Juliet and doing what you once did before. Hell, I'll even let you smoke in the house if it helps you."

"Or?"

"You're gone." he said, his features unchanged, "I can put up with the smoking and what medicines you have to take to be non-dependent, but that I will not have. So, make a choice."

Gone? Was he really going to kick her out? She felt her heart snap in two as his words echoed in her head, he didn't mean that, he couldn't have. But the more she looked at him the more she realized he was sincere and it slowly killed her.

"Please don't do this Ludwig."

"You are leaving me with no choice Marie, one or the other." he stated.

"I just need one hit and that's it. I'm done, it's all it is. Just one-"

"And one turns into another and another and another. Marie, I can't have you doing this, so make the choice. You did it before you can do it again."

"Back then was different."

"How so? Explain that to me, I want to know how. You left that bastard and got yourself on your feet being a recovering addict and had a child along with it and stood on your own even after everything happened, so dammit tell me!" he demanded.

"There's nothing to focus on!" she yelled at him, "I'm a fucked-up mess and that's all I'll ever be. It's easier to bend to the need and just be numb. If not that replace the pain with a different pain. Please Ludwig don't make me choose."

"If you don't I will for you and you will not like it." he threatened.

"You heartless fucker, you don't know what it's like-"

"I'm doing this to save you! I care too much about you to see you attempt to kill yourself, I've seen too much war and death around me that I don't want to see it again!" he shouted at her, standing over her, "What would the Vets that you've helped think? The nurses, hell all of us, what do you think we think? I can tell you now everyone wants you to be ok and happy. Above us all, he would want you happy. Dammit, Adrian wouldn't want you wallowing-"

"Don't you DARE use him against me!" she screamed at him as her hand connected to his cheek.

In a flash, Marie found her back on the floor as Ludwig pinned her hands above her head, holding her down as he sat on her legs. She felt his anger roll through him as she tried to get away from his grip.

"Let me go!" she squirmed under his hold

"You are asking for this Marie, now dammit make the fucking choice. Use or recover." he shouted down at her, tightening his grip on her hands. "Bitte Marie, mach mich nicht wählen."

Marie let out a frustrated shout as her hand reached out for the desk, she wanted the drugs yet her heart and mind were telling her to stop fighting. To lean on him as she once gained strength from Adrian, to have him as support through it all.

"Fine liebe, gather your things." she heard him say, his tone laced with sadness as his hands left hers.

She stopped, he was giving up on her, all because she couldn't make the choice her heart was telling her to...his words echoed her head, Liebe? He called her love. The more she thought of it, he was there more than most and did whatever it took to make her feel comfortable with him. And as it all rolled through, her heart shattered knowing she broke him as well as hurt herself of the man she loved. Yes, that was it, she loved him and she made him choose the one thing he didn't want to do.

"Ludwig, please no." she cried, "I'm sorry. Please."

"Then prove it to me Marie." he said, unmoved from his spot above her.

Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his body, holding him as tight as she could, "I'm sorry Ludwig. I can't stop it, I need it yet I know I can't have it. God help me, Ludwig, please. I'm sorry, I just want the pain to go away and it's all I can think about."

"What else is there that will make it go away?"

"There is nothing else Ludwig, don't you get that?" she yelled. "The only way I ever got passed it was burning my lungs, drinking my liver away, racing until I was nearly dead, or fucking my brains out. That's all there ever was for me! Pain to relieve pain."

She stared up at him, his eyes trying to figure out what to do as her need pounded through her once more. He stood up, hauling her to her feet as well. She knew that's all that was there, there was no easy way out of it and it was all she could focus...the needle flashed out of the corner of her eye, begging to be touched and used.

"Don't Marie." he warned.

Her hand reached out for it slowly, her body wasn't her own at that second. It was the need's and it wanted the drugs. Ludwig's hand grabbed onto hers, pressing it behind her back. She hissed at the sudden pain that riled through her yet dove into it as well. She felt his eyes dig into her flesh, she tried to escape his grip only to cause more discomfort to her arm. He wasn't holding back this time, he was letting her have pain. Her mind crossed all her past usages of escaping the drug and finally one came to surface as she felt her legs tremble at the thought of his hips against her own.

"Marie, you are on a dangerous path. Stop now or tell me how to help you." he demanded.

"You want to help me?" she felt her need boil as her own desire did as well, "Fuck me."

"Was?!"

"You heard me, fuck me. Germans are known for the rough, kinky sex. Fucking do it to me. As I said before, pain to relieve pain, I can't think of anything else as of now since nothing else works."

She watched as his eyes widened at her request, she knew he wouldn't do that. He treated her like she was a porcelain doll, afraid that if he touched her she's burst into a million pieces. Her eyes left him and landed back on the needle once more, looking harder at it she realized it wasn't heroin within the piece, but naltrexone, withdrawal medication. Fuck she was played from the beginning, no doubt the needle from Juliet.

Marie sighed, "Forget it, I should've known-"

Her back was upon his desk as he pulled her hips to the edge and his mouth ravaged hers like a wild animal. This wasn't the Ludwig she had talked to every morning over bullshit, or the one that bought her the plush. This was the other half of him that he must've kept away. The one that few had seen within the bedroom. Maybe she really wasn't far with the German ways of sex. His hips ground against hers as his hands ripped his shirt off her along with her blouse, hiking her skirt up past her ass. She heard the clink of his belt as he removed it only to wrap her hands within the tight leather binds, holding her arms above her head.

"You want this, ja?" he questioned as he looked down upon her.

Marie couldn't even speak, her ability to was lost between two worlds. Nodding her head furiously at him, she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her wanting heat. She gained a faint gasp, followed by a groan from the German. His free hand darted down to her panties as they pressed against her core, causing a moan to slip pass her lips. His fingers moved with such ferocity and grace that she was putty against him as her buildup of pleasure rocketed through every inch of her; if he kept up his pace, she wouldn't last.

"Es ist gut, ja? Sag mir, wie gut?" he demanded as his fingers pushed the fabric away.

"It's good Ludwig, so good." she moaned.

"Nein," he pulled hand away, only to smack her ass, "In meiner Zunge."

"Sehr gut. Bitte mehr, mehr." she begged.

"Gutes Mädchen." he said, diving his fingers along her folds, finally dipping into her wet core. "Mein, bist du nass."

His nimble yet rough fingers pumped into her at an inhuman speed, rubbing and scissoring in all the right places as her body shook and trembled under his hand. His other hand left hers as it laid upon her lower belly, pushing down onto her as his fingers dug deeper into her core. She felt electric sparks fly through her body as he did that, her walls tightening against his fingers as her orgasm came so close. His head dove down to her thighs, leaving bite marks all along the sensitive flesh as he headed to her core. His breath tingling the bundle of nerves, begging to be teased by him, and which he did. His tongue lapped over it unmercifully as his teeth grazed it lightly only to be kissed to pleasure as her orgasm was ready to spill.

"Oh, Gott Ludwig, ich komme!" she shouted.

"Nein." he said, removing himself from her.

"Ludwig!" she shouted in anger, "Nein. Bitte Ludwig, bitte."

She felt the tip of his erection lay against her fold, almost demanding to be in her core as much as she wanted it. He leaned over her, capturing her lips once more as he finally sheathed himself within her. She shuddered at the size of him, he was bigger and fuller and longer than she imagined, yet he felt oh so gratifying.

"Sie wollen dies?"

"Ja, Ludwig, ja!"

With her final yes, he thrusted into her, gaining speed and depth. He pushed her legs aside, spreading her as far as her muscles would let him, shooting the burning pain she demanded through her as the head of his cock slammed into her. It was deliriously maddening as his hips smack against hers, she couldn't stop the moans and pants that escaped her nor the yelps that came when his hands spanked her. Her mind was a blur as her body mixed with pleasure and pain, she barely noticed that he ripped her bra from her and attacked her breasts until his teeth came down on her sensitive bud.

"Mein Gott!" she cried out, feeling her orgasm ready to go.

"Betteln um es, Marie." he gritted out, his hand pressing down on her belly again.

The sparks came flying back as he hit her just right, "Bitte, bitte Ludwig. Gib es mir, ich muss kommen!"

He didn't stop, he didn't let go, and he gave her exactly what she wanted as her world exploded before her eyes. Her climax hitting hard as her walls clamped around him, her body tensing from the ordeal. Yet as usual, it ended all too soon for her as the need whispered under her skin. Before she could utter a word, Ludwig gathered her in his arms and lifted her against him, as he walked for the door.

"Wait, wait Ludwig!" she clutched onto him as he went out the door, "Gil and Eliza, they'll-"

"They're gone. Been gone for a bit, it's just you and me." he said pushing his bedroom door open.

The hell was he planning? Without a moment's notice, he plopped her on the bed, her clothes barely on her body as his own pants were held up by the depth of his hipbones. She watched him throw off his beater and pull his pants and boxers off as he came to her.

"What are you doing Ludwig?"

He ignored her as his hands traced her torso, slowly removing the articles of clothing from her fully, working his way to her skirt. Now fully bare to him, she pondered over of what was to come with him as he crawled over top of her, his body only inches away from hers yet seemed so far away.

"Ludwig, stop." she placed her hands on his shoulders as he was fully above her, "What are you doing?"

His knees pushed her legs apart as she felt his manhood brush against her thigh, proof that he had not released his own tensions. His thick arms caged her body to the bed as he looked down at her, his hair slowly falling forward. Marie looked at him, noticing something she never did before. Gently she raised her hands to his head, her fingers gracing his hairline and to her surprise his head nudged her hands to roam through his hair. Her fingers graced through the silky blonde tresses as she pulled them from their slicked back manor, just to be awed by the new sight before her. He wasn't the stoic soldier she had known for so long before her, he was almost someone knew. He was more relaxed, more focused, and more emotional than before and with it she was falling for him faster.

"My god." she whispered, her fingers still laced in his hair making his bangs fall forward, "You're handsome like this."

He smiled down at her, "As for what I am doing. I deeply believe that it is not pain you need to relieve the addiction. I believe what you need is something that past has not given you and I plan on doing just that."

"And that it?" she felt herself grow needy for him.

With one thrust, he was back where he belonged, moving slowly with every word from his lips, "Pleasure. Adoration. Desire. And most of all, love."

This was different. His movements were smoother, deeper, fuller, and more delicious than she could have ever imagined. His hands caressed her sides, as his lips kissed her neck, bringing waves upon waves to her body.

"You don't need to be fucked Marie, you need to be made love to." he whispered in her ear, "I want you to feel me. Around you. Above you. Within you. I'm replacing pain with pleasure."

His body was like a blanket of warmth and love above her as he moved deep within her, and she was lost in it. She was soaring higher than ever before, no random fling or Trey even got her to feel like this. He was a god that was made to love her and only her at that moment. Her coil burned within her as a fire roared within her veins of pleasure and desire. She felt herself tighten around him, her release right on the edge already as she felt every inch of him pull in and out of her core.

"Liebe, look at me."

Marie opened her eyes, looking into his as his forehead rested against hers, "Ich liebe dich Marie."

Her heart beat faster as her mind sang in happiness and hope, "I love you too Ludwig."

He sped up, his strokes the same as her mind went nearly blank as her climaxed poured through her of his words, "Oh god, Ludwig!"

His lips crashed to hers as she moaned, her orgasm spilling over her and him, yet this one was so much different from the rest. It was euphoric, heavenly, and erotic. She felt her own body soar as she rode wave after wave that rolled through her, feeling Ludwig twitch with release. Her back arched, as her legs squeezed his hips and her nails dug his back. Her eyes were clamped shut as everything slowly came back as Ludwig peppered her face in butterfly kisses.

"My Marie." he said, his fingers gracing her hair, "Mein Berlin."

"Mein Deutschland." she said, kissing him once more.

Her mind raced to figure out what happened to her with the orgasm yet it was satisfied, the need was silent as well for her. No pull to the needle, just blissful pleasure and love. Only one thing came to her mind as she thought the event over in her head.

"Ludwig, would it be wrong of me to say I believe I've become addicted to you?"

He chuckled, "Nein. I'd rather you addicted to me than that."

"Gut." she smiled.

"Ja, gut. But first, you need to get dressed."

Marie glanced up at him, "For what?"

"You'll see. Come on." he pulled himself away, gathering his own clothes.

Shaking her head, she threw on his shirt and a pair of his shorts that laid on the chair. Quickly following suit behind him as he went out of the room and headed downstairs to the backyard. As they made the door, he took her hand, pulling her to the small tree she watched Gil and he plant the other day.

"Ok Ludwig, what's this for?"

"Alright. Don't kill me but I believe this is a good thing really." he said, "I know you left a lot of bad memories behind in Boston."

Well this isn't what she was expecting, "Yes, a good majority of them were bad."

"Yet not all. Especially one."

Did he mean?

"I made some calls with Alfred and was able to get the information and the looks of it as well. As you were passed out for the last five hours. I had the local monuments place quickly make it up."

"Make what up?"

"I'm here for you to talk to when you need me for the needs and to vent, ja?"

"Ja?"

"Well, when I'm not here, I think you should talk with him, since he was your first to help you." he nodded over to the tree.

Turning to see, Marie felt sadness and joy all at once. There in front of the tree stood Adrian's headstone. His little feet with the teddy bear and song birds sat there, begging for her to touch it. Slowly walking over, she touched the cold stone as her memories of him came back. He wasn't wrong, she left her only solace back home without saying goodbye to him. She hadn't looked at his grave ever since she laid him in the ground.

Marie couldn't stop her knees from hitting the ground, she tried to stop her tears yet it was no use to her. Ludwig's arms wrapped around her, whispering words of love and encouragement to her.

"Danke Ludwig, danke." she cried against him.

Truth was, he was right. She needed Adrian as much as she needed Ludwig now. Leaning against him, she felt her world slowly come together. And this time, she wasn't falling backwards.


	9. Chapter 9

"Did you talk to him yet?" he asked Marie as he pressed his head against her bare breasts.

"I talked to him yesterday before you came home." she said, her fingers playing with his hair.

"So, my idea worked then." he smiled as she nodded to him.

Since he had made up the stone for her two months ago, her needs had slowed too little to no cravings. She had spoken with Marissa and Juliet at most three times a week, slowly dwindling down to once a week and of course she always spoke with him when her memories plagued her the worst. He was glad she was over the harder part of the withdrawal, it was now keeping her focused on staying on that line. Yet he was nowhere near his own calm with himself. He knew she still had the one nightmare, could feel it as her own trembling shook the bed and he awake. After the meeting in England, his mind couldn't leave the battlefields of WWII. If only he fully knew, maybe things would've been different.

"You ok Ludwig?"

"Ja, why you ask?"

"Because you're squeezing me tight enough that I can't breathe."

Ludwig looked down at her, noticing he had a death grip on her as his past came to mind. "Sheisse Marie, I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

"I'm fine but the bigger question is, are you?" her blues stared up at him, question and worry laying within them.

He couldn't answer her, he didn't really know if he was himself. He was a mess of things really and knowing the past that lays within Marie, especially them.

"Luddy? Süsser, was ist los?" she asked, cupping his cheeks.

It was eating at him to speak to her, he just didn't know how or the outcome of it. He moved off her, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. He wasn't sure where to begin either with her, the memory itself was hell. Ludwig felt her naked frame lean against him, rubbing his shoulders and back.

"It's alright." she spoke softly to him, "Take your time."

She knew what was rolling through him, she was just waiting for him to talk. He pushed his hands through his hair, as he remembered everything and found the words for her.

"It started in 1939, when WWII fully began after the invasion of Poland. Hitler appointed me to run the military invasions and captures of nations. I believed that what we were doing was the right cause, I never really knew what it was for. For years, I did exactly what he asked; after Poland, I hit Norway and Denmark, then Belgium, Netherlands and Luxembourg. It was just that really, going in and doing what I was ordered. I commanded the troops to go for the specific targets and captured leaders.

"I remember hitting France and cornering Francis on the Eiffel Tower. He was talking his fight with me there, his last stand at fighting me, giving whatever help he could to Arthur and any other Ally. I'll give the fancy bastard credit, he could fight when he needed too. He was determined to fight me till the end, which he did but it's because it donned on him the truth. He tried to tell me, tried so hard but I overpowered him at that moment. I think that's why he was the gentler one of the Allies when we were captured.

"After France, I captured Greece and Yugoslavia then the Soviet Union with the help of Gilbert, back then he was still Prussia and eager to fight like he once did years ago. After those, Japan hit America and then he joined in. There was our downfall, between Alfred and Arthur we slowly were pushed back, as they got Francis free and Yao and Ivan joining them, we were surrounded. During that whole ordeal of years, I could still hear Francis, 'You don't know?' his face written with shock, like he couldn't believe I didn't know. But he wasn't wrong, I didn't really know.

"Before we invaded Poland and started WWII I can remember Gilbert fighting with Adolf, heated arguments and words poured out of him. I never knew why for every time I asked him about it, he'd just shrug me off and smile saying it was war stuff. That's all he ever told me. I never argued, Gil was better to handle war than me. I was still a little shaky after WWI but the arguments and Francis's words never left me. One day I could remember Elizaveta crying in Roderich's office as she looked down at the yard. I could hear Gil hollering at people to let someone go. I looked out to see Roderich in cuffs and beaten on the ground, I was appalled and confused. Gil was yelling at the soldiers holding him down as Adolf came up to him. I couldn't hear him at first over the rain hitting the window and Eliza's cries. I tried asking her what was wrong but I finally heard my answer, 'I told you all the Jews!'. I looked down to see them beat Gil to the ground as they threw Roderich into a covered truck and drive off as Hitler told Gil he was defying orders and that it should have been me doing this tactic all because I listened.

"The sight never left me for days. I tried to find out where Roderich was taken but never knew nor was told. Gil wouldn't look me in the eye either and he avoided Eliza at all costs. So, one day I had enough, I went to one of the train stations I knew he was going to be at with the casualties of war. I walked the long yard, seeing things I never saw before. So many people that looked like hell had enveloped them. It was then I felt a tug to my coat, looking down I was awed by the sight of a little girl in a bright red coat, her eyes shining and her smile bright. She asked if I could help her, I asked where her mutti and vati were and all she did was point to the trains. It was then I heard the screams. I turned to see children ripped from parent's arms as they were all separated, loved ones not even given one last goodbye. A father tried to grab his children, to bring them with him and all the soldiers did was shoot him in the back and laughed at the struggle. I looked down at her and saw the star upon her coat, the very same star upon all the people boarding the trains. It was then I defied orders. I gathered her in my arms and told her they were on a different train as I took her away from the sights and to the only person I trusted at that time."

"Odelia." Marie whispered.

"Ja, Odelia. She was just a common secretary working between the Nazi offices, it didn't come to me that she also was an activist and trying her best to save the prisoners with the information she had. I remember her face when I handed her the sleeping girl, her eyes landed on the star and that's all it took for her to nearly lose her composure. I begged and pleaded with her to help her, to get her away. She begrudgingly agreed and slowly grew to the little girl as I got everything I could to get them out of Germany. The day of Sophie's execution was the day I had the final pieces and told them to run. To get to the border of Switzerland as fast as she could. It took me forever to get Vash to answer me and even agree to help, but it finally happened. It was the last time I saw them until..."

Ludwig took a shaky breath as Marie continued to hold him, "We had surrendered. Feli was a mess and Kiku was severely injured from Alfred. It was Francis that pulled me from the cell as he and Ivan took me there, I had no clue where I was until I saw the battered face of Feliks, realizing it was Poland. They dragged me through the gates as Feliks stayed outside it, I wasn't far in when the smell of death hit me like a bomb. I looked up to see Alfred staring off at something as Arthur spoke to him, his own hand upon Antonio's back as the Spaniard lost his stomach on the ground. Yao passed us as he held a cloth to his face, 'Now you will know' came from him. The next I knew, they threw me to the ground, their guns down yet ready to fire if need be. Ivan asked if I had any part in Gilbert's work with Hitler, I denied him. It was the truth, I didn't know what they were doing except gathering people together to remove them. There were no reasons given to me, all I was told was to invade and control the lands. It was then Francis kneeled beside me, his eyes full of sadness as he pointed to something. My gaze followed his hand and what I saw before me, horrified me. Bodies. Hundreds of hundreds of dead bodies lying in piles like mountains of death and decay. I couldn't believe it. Didn't want to. I pleaded with them that Gil didn't do this, it was casualties of war, they were boys and men fighting for their countries and civilians that tried to help, it's all that it was. But the harder I looked the more stars I saw. It was then my eyes landed on something bright yet dull. There in the pile was the little girl that I tried to get to Switzerland and Odelia holding onto her for dear life, even in the afterlife. I realized at that moment the truth of WWII and Hitler's work and what Gilbert hid me from.

"I didn't know." he whispered, feeling the tears sting his eyes, "I really didn't know. I felt like a monster even though it wasn't my own hand, all I did was lead the cattle to the slaughter. After the Axis stood their trials for the war, some getting hit and others not as hard, it was Gil to be hit the hardest. I remember sitting there with the cuffs on my wrist, Feli crying beside me and Kiku barely able to hold his head up when they called him. He stood there as if nothing was wrong, when Arthur read the declaration of the dissolve of Prussia, he somehow still smiled after hearing it as I lost it. It was as if my whole world was ripped from me, in just that very time. I agree with what Gil told you, after those days I can barely look at myself in the mirror and have nightmares of the war."

He could feel her against him, her body tense as she took in the truth of Odelia and the little girl, he stood up and walked over to his dresser, pulling out the little box within. "What bothers me the most during those days, I never once learned the little girl's name."

She watched him as he pulled out the little star that was upon her coat the day she came up to him, "I haven't let go nor forgotten her."

Marie walked up to him as the thin blanket covered her bare body, "Ludwig, at one point I was going to ask if you blamed yourself or Gilbert for the war, but I don't think that's the right thing."

She rubbed his arm as he looked down at the star in his hand, "I think the real question is, is what do you really feel about WWII? More or less, if something changed."

He shuddered at her question, he just never said it out before. He looked at her, looking at the strong woman before him as she smiled up at him, nodding her head lightly at him.

"Would I have lost him if I really knew? If I knew, could I have saved them better?" he finally spoke as the stray tears fell down his cheeks.

Marie didn't give him a chance to speak again as she pulled his head down to her shoulder, rocking him and rubbing his back as he wrapped his own arms around her. He let go of the pain and hurt he felt within, he felt weak yet felt complete letting out what he held onto for so long.

"It's ok Luddy, I promise it is." she whispered to him, kissing his cheek, "Now, the next step for you is addressing the source of it."

"How do you mean?"

"Talk to Gilbert."

 

Talk to him. All he had to do was talk to him but doing that was harder than it seemed. He walked the halls as he tried to find the obnoxious man, his own heart racing with the thoughts and what would come.

A pained cry disrupted his thoughts, he turned to the open room to see one of the children on the floor, clutching their leg as they cried.

"What's the matter, Alexei?" he heard Gilbert's voice, "What's wrong, you get hurt?"

He finally saw him walked up to little St. Petersburg, getting down on his haunches to look at the boy, gently placing his hand upon his leg just to hear him cry harder.

"Did you fall and hurt your knee?" he asked, only gaining a shake of Alexei's head. "Oh, I know what it is, it's growing pains isn't it? All it is Alexei, is a pain that means you're growing to be a big boy."

Ludwig felt his heart twinge, he heard that before from Gilbert. His memories sprouted back to him of the one night that the pains where nearly unbearable.

 

He cried out for Gilbert what felt like an eternity as his bones and skin ached.

"It's alright Ludwig, Bruder is here." Gil said as he lifted him from his bed, taking him next to the fire below. The very same questions were asked to him as Gil settled himself and Ludwig cried against his chest.

"It's just growing pains. It means you're getting bigger and will be a strong nation one day Luddy. Here drink this, it'll taste bad but it'll ease the pains and help you sleep." he said giving him the bottle.

After downing the bitter content, he snuggled himself against Gilbert as the fire soothed him back to slumber, "No better place to sleep than Bruder, huh? Would you like a bedtime story?"

With a sleepy nod, Gilbert began one of the Grimm's tales as he finally slept against him.

 

"Alexei what's wrong?" Ivan's voice cut into Ludwig's memory.

The Russian came over and lifted the little boy into his arms as Gil explained what he knew. The small chatter between them gave him his own final push to speak with him. He felt tense and worried on how it would go but he knew it had to be done. He didn't have to make it in far to gain Gilbert's attention.

"Hey, what's up... Ludwig, are you ok?" he asked as concern overcame his face.

Ludwig knew his own emotions were upon him, but now there was no backing out, "I need to talk with you."

 

Marie stood in the hall, watching as the two men sat in the room talking diligently as she heard Delilah walk up to her, "He finally get it out?"

She watched as Gil's eyes widened at Ludwig, his features surprised as he moved in front of Ludwig, placing his hands upon his shoulders as he spoke to his brother. She saw Ludwig shudder as his emotions overcame him just to have Gilbert collect him in his arms and hold him against him.

"Finally." she told the woman.

"Good, now another one you have to address." Delilah said handing a newspaper clipping to her.

Marie eyed the piece, reading in detail of the information before it only to find her own words lost. There was no way she missed this, how could she not see her emotions?

"Jesus, where is she, she has to be a mess right now and just trying not to show us." Marie said looking around the place.

"Marie," Delilah stopped her, "Look at the date."

Doing as the Austrian told her, she looked at the date, just to have more questions to her findings, "Where is she?"

"Last Roderich and I saw, she was in the garden."

Marie didn't hesitate to make her way out to the backyard. She was hoping it was wrong but now with the clip in her hand she knew that it wasn't what they were all told. Sure enough, as she hit the back door, she saw the woman. Her long brown hair waving in the chilling breeze as she looked over the yard.

"Elizaveta?" Marie called.

"Oh, hello Marie. What brings you out here?"

"A quick question really." Marie started, "Where's Daniel?"

"Danny?" Eliza hesitated, "On business like usual."

She watched Eliza's features, how she held herself and what lied beneath her eyes and words, "Is that why he's been dead for the last three months?"

Eliza froze, Marie waited for her own words, to see what would come, "He committed suicide Elizaveta, there's no hiding that. It was in the news. He admitted himself into a psychiatric ward and when nothing helped him, he jumped. Why didn't you tell-"

"It wasn't your business!" she scolded Marie.

That wasn't what she expected, in fact Eliza really didn't seem...Marie's mind pondered on things as Eliza's emotions and actions were before her. It was slowly coming clear.

"Did you love Roderich?" Marie asked.

"Of course I did, why would you ask that?"

"In what way?"

"What are you-"

"You tell me. You said you loved him and from what I was told you took it well when he gained Vienna. As if a weight was lifted, so you tell me. You two were together for years and then you were fine after the fact. Most people would be devastated, but you were fine. So, did you love him or did you stay with him for other reasons?" Marie pushed.

"I loved him, yet not in full love like everyone else. The same for Daniel. Nothing will change that fact but as I said it wasn't like everyone else."

Finally, a line of truth. "So why are you waiting?"

"Because I've loved the same person for ages. They were there for years before Roderich really and I held onto that hope for years and still will until the memories are gone and then they... Never mind."

Memories, did she mean? "Now Marie, please do me the favor and leave me be."

She didn't argue, she moved back to the house as she saw Gilbert and Ludwig at the door, concern on their brows.

"We just heard from Delilah, how is she?" Gil asked.

"I think you need to talk to her Gilbert, now." she said as she walked up to Ludwig.

He gave a questioning look but went up to her, his brow furrowed in question as he asked Eliza for the truth. Ludwig tapped her shoulder, silently asking what was going on. Marie shook her head and nodded at the two of them. Sure enough, a gentle sob escaped Eliza as Gil wrapped his arms around her, his own eyes wide with the truth before him.

Marie leaned into Ludwig, feeling him against her, "It was never Daniel or Roderich that fully had her heart, it was him. The Kingdom of Prussia."


	10. Chapter 10

Things had slowly come together within the Beilschmidt home. The boys did business along with Eliza as she stayed around a little more than before, and Marie was busy with counseling and understanding more of the countries and their needs. It was quite easy getting into the rhythm of things as a small burp caught her attention.

"Finally got it out of him Marissa?" she asked.

Marissa smiled, "Finally. Took a bit didn't we Alec?"

The little boy just sighed in content as Marissa wiped his chin, "Seems like your boy is in a milk coma."

Marissa laughed at her, "Miss these days?"

Marie felt her heart clamp up yet she smiled, "All the time."

"Would you like to hold him?" the Canadian asked.

She looked at the woman then to the baby then back to Marissa. She could feel Adrian still within her own arms, yet the knowledge sat at the back of her head of the truth.

"It's ok if you say no, I'll give him to Mattie really quick while-"

"No." Marie cut her off, "No, it's fine. I'll take him."

"Are you sure?" Marissa asked.

"Yes. Now come on, hand him here." Marie held out her hands.

With a curt smile, Marissa placed Alec in Marie's arms, laying the small blanket across her shoulder, "I believe I got all of it out of him but he's quite famous for hiding one or two from Mattie and I."

"Don't worry, I'll get it out." she said, laying him against her shoulder as she rubbed his back.

"Ok, any issues, Mattie should be in the other room. I'll be right back." Marissa said, leaving the two of them be.

Marie felt Alec's little fingers curl into her shirt, a sigh leaving him as he snuggled into Marie's shoulder. She gently rubbed his little back as her memories of Adrian came up. She hummed a gentle lullaby that she sang to him each night, resting her head against him as silent snores escaped him. It was these days she missed the most, those innocent times where she would lay with him and just have an afternoon with each other.

Maybe one day, one day for another baby. One with blonde locks and icy blue eyes like Ludwig. A little Beilschmidt running around the home; yes, one day.

"One day Alec, one day." She whispered to him.

He started squirming in her arms as he whimpered against her shoulder, "What's the matter buddy? Want a paci?"

She tried to place the pacifier in his mouth as she moved to cradle him only to have his mouth root around her breast, "Oh no sweetie, those are out of commission. You just ate anyway, but if you're determined let's see if we can find mommy or daddy, ok?"

Marie walked out of the room to see if she could locate either Canadian, yet there was no one around the space. She made her way downstairs to the kitchen only to pause by the dining area. There laid a box and upon it was a full syringe as a lighter stood beside it, she knew that look of the content. It called to her faintly, telling her to take and be numb from the pain she felt. Her gazed moved from Alec to the needle, her mind scrabbling as she went closer to the box. It just sat there, beckoning to be touched and that she did. She lifted the syringe with her free hand as she just stared at it. She swore she could hear Ludwig in the back of her mind, begging her not to touch it, to not take the hit, to think of him and Adrian. Her gaze went back to Alec, who's head nudged her chest more prominently. She looked at the needle once more as it shook within her hand, just to set it back on the box and slowly back away as her own shivers ran through her body. A gentle hand came to her arm, a gesture of reassurance as Marissa came to view along with Juliet. Both ready, just like her, for the evening dinner with the nations and capitals.

"It's ok Marie. You proved a lot today. More than we could've thought." Marissa said as Juliet nodded in agreement.

"You did great darling." Juliet said placing her hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you." she sighed, "Thank you for helping me prove I'm stronger than it."

They both smiled at her as she handed Alec to his mother, "I need to relax for a moment before this dinner."

"Go to his office, he'll be there." Juliet said.

With that, she was off to Ludwig's office as her heels clicked in the hall, everything calmed down in her. She just needed to sit in his chair and have his scent hit her to relax or to have his arms around her. Opening the door, she saw him sitting there as if he was waiting for her.

"I heard." was all he said as he held his arms out to her.

She practically threw herself at him, the feeling of him against her was just the last bit she needed to overcome the needs calling as he rubbed her back. "You have made such strides Marie, I am proud of you and how strong you are."

"Danke Ludwig." she sighed against him.

"Now we better be off, need to beat the others there before they take the good spots and that I want things to be in order before the rowdy ones get there."

"And I'm amazed you are leaving Gilbert here." she smiled up at him.

"He knows better. Besides I have you to back me up if he becomes an ass." he kissed her head, "Grab the keys and I'll get your coat."

Smiling, she made her way to the small cabinet of car keys and readied for the evening when a set caught her eye. She always knew Ludwig to take the Beetle out majority of the time as she took her BMW out, yet she never noticed that car. Curiosity and excitement got to her as she pulled the keys. Knowing Ludwig, he's get there on the Autobahn and it was a thrill she was down for. Grabbing the keys, she went to the garage and found Ludwig by the Beetle.

"Ready, Liebling?"

She held out the keys for him to see, watching as he eyed them and then her, "Schatz?"

"Bitte Ludwig?" she gave him a sweet pout.

"It doesn't work for Gil, it's not working for you."

"Oh, come on, one little joy ride in it, please? You can rub it in Alfred's face of your fast car, come on now." she jingled the keys. "Besides Ludwig, don't you know? Fast cars make girls horny."

His eyebrow nearly rocketed to his hairline as she smirked at him, yea, now she had his interest. His hand grabbed the keys, his eyes never leaving hers. A devilish smile curved upon his lips as her own nearly beamed in excitement as he took her to the car in question.

Sure enough, it was a thrill ride on the Autobahn in the sleek machine. She knew the Audi's could get fast but this was exhilarating. The R8 V10 rode smooth as he sped it down the road, waiting patiently for an opening to hit the pedal. She could see him calculate it all in his head as his eyes skimmed her bare legs and went back to the road. Teasing him was more fun than she imagined, his control of the machine and his own to not touch her was tantalizing as it was. The vibrations of the machine sent chills down her spine, oh how she wished she could feel the real raw power out of this car but being a passenger was just as thrilling.

Ludwig's hand ghosted upon her knee, a sly smile dusting his lips. Marie looked and saw the clearing he did. Truth be told, she was exactly like she said, horny. It was one thing she loved about racing, it gave her that euphoric high she loved besides the drugs.

She smirked at him, letting her knees drift apart and pulling her skirt up, "Think you can control us both?"

"Think?" he looked at her, "Nein, ich weiß, ich kann."

As the last car pulled off to its destination, he hit the pedal and the car took off, hitting speeds she didn't even know it could as his hand slid up her thigh. The wind outside the door as he sped down the Autobahn deafened any thoughts of backing out as his dingers graces her panties, lightly touching and caressing through the fabric. She watched as he controlled the car one-handed with ease as the other one pushed the piece aside and dove two fingers into her wet core.

"Luddy, we'll stain it." she moaned as he hit that one spot.

"There's a cover on the seat for a reason." he said, keeping his speed up.

She could see the growing bulge between his legs as both power of machine and power of a woman overcame him. She wanted to touch him, to let ease of the constrictions yet her body was unmoved as his fingers pumped faster as the car reached the final speed. If this kept up, she would lose it in a matter of mere-

"Sheisse" he cursed under his breath as they got off the famous trek and pulled into the banquet hall lot.

"No kidding." she muttered to herself as he got out of the car and moved to her side.

She was damn close too. If only they were a little- his lips crashed into hers as he pulled her from the car. Slamming the door, he pressed her onto it as she hissed at the cold metal against her back. He lifted her legs to wrap around his waist as he pulled her panties aside, just to slip himself into her. His thrusts were rough and eager, gaining the coil she had in the car back to surface as his teeth and lips attacked her neck.

"Lud, someone will see." she tried to protest, yet her body disagreed as he continued.

"We are early and there is barely anyone here in the lot." he drove himself deeper, bringing her bubble to the surface.

She clawed at his back and tightened her legs as it sat there. With two more pumps from him, she was lost in the bliss that she never wanted to escape from as he followed suit. He panted against her as they came down from their climaxes, his grip never faltering from her as he set her down and adjusted himself and her.

"That was exciting." she spoke to him.

"That it was." he smiled.

"Dude Ludwig!" they heard Alfred yell, "Good going getting action already, it's dull in here!"

Marie gasped in shock as she realized he had witnessed their actions as Ludwig buried himself amongst her breasts. She watched as Amber thwacked Alfred head and pushed him inside of the building, giving silent sorry afterwards.

"I think that will dampen the mood for a bit." he said looking up at her only to make her laugh at the situation more.

 

The house seemed eerily quiet as she made her way up the walk. Much of capitals dismissed themselves from their nations to call an early night, and she was no different as Ludwig and the others spoke of the war. She was just lucky enough that Lili brought her home as she went back for Vash.

The steady bass from within spooked her at first, unsure of its source and what it could lead to within but the harder she listened the more she realized Gil was in her eighties collection.

"Son of a bitch." she said, flying through the doors and making her way to the dining room.

The house seemed normal from looks but the booming sound of Renegade didn't give comfort as she turned the corner only to stop and not laugh at the sight. There upon the table was Gil, strutting his dancing skills upon the wood as the final chorus blared through the system. Shaking his hips and gliding around, he was having the time of his life as Marie tried not to laugh, yet when his eyes finally landed on her, she lost it.

She earned a gentle sorry as he got down and finished putting stuff away. With a small chuckle, she went up to her room as she clutched the piece within her hand harder.

This is very vital to us, Marie. I am counting on you to take it home and place it in my office. It pertains to the war and what we have gathered so far along with all military codes. Understand?"

She understood well as she slipped into the room and laid it next to the globe upon his desk. Once she donned on her nightwear, she settled herself into the window nook and looked out into the cool December night. The stars glistened and the night so still, it was beautiful as she looked past all the...something moved below. She cranked her neck to see if she could see better just to hear something shatter downstairs.

Fear crept up in her as she opened the door, "Gil? Was that you or the dogs?"

Silence was her reply. Grabbing the dagger from under Ludwig's bedside, she made her way downstairs to see the ruckus. The house was quiet, no dogs or Gil making any noise as a cold chill covered her. It was colder than normal in the house as she made her way to the office. Opening the door, everything within seemed the same as she left it. Maybe it was just her imagination. She wasn't used to not having-a cold hand slipped across her mouth as an arm pulled her away from the door.

She tried to scream and fight off what held her only to have a barrel touch her temple, "Move and die."

Marie felt total fear roll through her as it came to reality what was happening. A low growl caught her attention along with her captor, glancing to her side, she saw Aster flying down the hall as he barreled into the man. Marie darted into the office to grab the drive only to find it missing.

"No." she whispered.

The man yelled in pain as Aster ripped at his arms and legs, Marie could hear Blackie and Berlitz fighting someone else within the home. Where the hell was Gilbert? She decided she had to be fast about this, lowing her shoulder she rammed the man into the wall as the drive fell from his grasps. Grabbing the drive, she called Aster to follow only to hear the gun go off and Aster cry out.

"Aster!" Marie screamed as she saw the man stand over the pup.

There was no turning back now, she had to run. Marie took off down the hall, trying her best to make it to the garage and get the hell out of there and get Ludwig only to be caught by another man, this one more determined than the other. She slipped their grips as she tried to find the keys to her car.

"Let's just shoot her." the one said as fear over lapped her.

"No, she's special." the darker of the two spoke, "I think she's the next capital. We're taking her."

Oh shit. Her mind went blank for a moment, she was stuck and had no way out of this hell. Ludwig was away, the dogs were either incapacitated or gone, and Gilbert was nowhere in sight as they got closer to her. She was ready to call it in when something rolled near her, a thud catching them both off guard. Looking at the source she realized it was the first man's head. She tried to hold down the scream yet couldn't.

"You asshole, you realized that hurt ja?" she heard someone say, "Don't you realize you can kill me? I am the memories of WWII. Of the Holocaust. Of the Teutonic Knights."

She knew that voice, was never happier to hear it until that moment as she saw the tuffs of white hair behind the man.

"Don't you know? I am the awesome Prussia!" Gil shouted, bringing down the broadsword.

Marie let out a startled yell as the sword hit the floor. The man dodged Gilbert as he fought him, doing whatever it took to slow him down.

"Go Marie, go. Get out of here!" Gilbert shouted to her as he kicked the man down.

"Not without you!" she demanded.

She watched as his Knight's Code rolled through his head, with a grunt of displeasure. He hit the man with the sword earning a holler of pain. The next thing she knew was Gil was dragging her to the cars, throwing her keys at her as the BMW was in sight.

"Now get in and go." he said, the sword still in his hands.

"I told you not without you."

"Marie please." he pleaded with her, "You have the information, and you are a capital as well. You are too valuable here at this moment, get to West. He'll take care-"

Gilbert was cut off and Marie screamed as a long blade came through Gil's chest. He stumbled back lightly, pulling his up to hit the assailant behind him. Pained and worried, he nodded at her to go and get out of there and to Ludwig. She couldn't leave him behind, yet she was left with no option as the man attempted to get past Gil and to her. Through tear filled eyes, she sped out of the garage and onto the drag. She prayed that Gil would be ok, that it was nothing more than a nightmare but watching as another car sped out of the house was her answer as it followed.

Bravery got to the better of her as she finally veered onto the Autobahn and sped down the length of it towards the hall. Her heart ached as her mind swam in fear for the sweet man she had grown so attached to. She prayed he'd be fine as...the car came into view in front of her, the men within looking around as if to find her. They turned down another pass, one that she knew led to the capitals and the little cities.

"No." she said to herself.

She clutched the drive in her hand as she looked at the sky once more. With a shaky breath, she knew what she had to do, she relaxed her body as best as possible, knowing the impact would be enough to them. She sped up the car, catching up to them as they readied to turn onto the main road.

"Ich liebe dich Ludwig." she said, letting go of the wheel and taking her final breath.

 

The alarm roared through his head. It was one that every nation knew and feared as well, a declaration of war by attack. And this one was in his home. The hall was full of near chaos when it went off, he panicked more when he saw it was centered in Germany. He couldn't remember leaving the hall, nor Roderich or Vash following but the sight of the house was enough to make him worry as he saw bloodstains from the garage door.

"Mein Gott!" he spoke, running into the house just to nearly slip on the blood trails.

"It's everywhere." Vash said as Roderich followed.

He could hear Elizaveta coming into the house as he looked at the hell of a mess, "Check the rooms. Now!"

He darted upstairs, praying Marie was hiding somewhere up here by Gil's hand, that maybe she was wounded and trying to fix herself up after fighting whomever did this. Yet it was silent upstairs, nothing touched or moved. He knew she was home for there on their bed was her dress she wore to the hall. So, where the hell where they?

Eliza's screamed echoed the house, causing Ludwig to dash to the source. His office doors were wide open as he and Vash made it in together to just to see Roderich haul Eliza off something. His eyes scanned the room just to land on the broadsword and the boot next to it. Gilbert. Without hesitating, he went to his side only to be hit with horror.

"Oh no." Vash stated as he kneeled to the ground.

Ludwig stood there like a fool, dropping to his knees to grab Gil's hand. The man was a bloody mess. The gaping chest wound was what worried him the most, so many gashed and so much blood covered him to the point his hair was tainted red from it all.

"West?" he heard him whisper out.

"Gilbert?" he leaned closer to him, "Gil it's me. What happened?"

"Genesis... tried to kill... me... too awesome." he breathed weakly, "Marie... with you? I... told her... to run."

Marie wasn't here, nor with him or the other nations that he was aware of. Before he could answer Roderich held his shoulder.

"There was an accident on the Autobahn. It's Marie's car." he said slowly, "The drive was in the front seat but she was gone. The men in the other car were a part of Genesis but they died instantly and according to Juliet, so did she."

His world went numb. He looked down at Gilbert once more as the thought of Marie being dead plagued his mind; no, he couldn't lose them. Not both of them. All he remembered after that was Roderich and Vash grabbing for him as his head hit the floor as the darkness took him in.


	11. Chapter 11

The blinding white light wasn't something she was expecting to wake to. Her head pounded as her body was achy, what the hell did she do last night, drink too much? Through the burning sensation, Marie opened her eyes to see what time it was and where everyone was just to see nothing but white. White? Her eyes focused more and to her worry, everything around her was white. There was no bed, or windows, hell there wasn't even a room. Just white emptiness. Yet as she sat there and gained her boundaries, she felt at ease. Calm really. Her headache and pains went away with ease as a warm sensation covered her. She wasn't afraid of the place, just curious.

"Where am I?" she asked allowed as she got to her knees.

Her hand felt something cool on the ground she laid on, looking down she saw the Iron Cross. The memories flooded in, everything from her past to the accident last night... Oh god. Marie stood there as the vision of the car crashing into the other came to mind. She didn't remember feeling pain or the impact really, yet she wasn't there now. Her spirit at least.

"Oh God, I'm dead." she felt her heart drop to her stomach as she uttered those words.

She died in the crash, died stopping those assholes from getting the kids and the girls, her friends. She was dead and she didn't get to say goodbye to him, didn't get the chance to tell him how happy she was with him or how much she loved him. Her tears stung her eyes as everything came together, she wasn't resentful for dying. Just wish she had more time to speak her thoughts.

"Mommy?" she heard a little voice.

Marie paused, it couldn't be. Her mind dwelled on the fact that she was dead and that she sat upon the Breath of God, not once did she think she'd see him. Turning around ever so slowly, she came face to face with a brunette little boy. His bright blues called out to her as his smile silenced her world.

"Adrian?" her voice broke as she thought of him.

"Mommy!" the little boy ran to her, his arms wide open.

She couldn't stop herself as she opened her arms to him, feeling his little boy crash into hers. She sat there stunned that she was holding her beloved baby boy. That he had grown in heaven and became more handsome than she could've ever imagined. She pulled him away for a brief second, looking over him more as he gave her that adorning smile of his. Pulling him back against her, Marie sobbed as she held him again. Her heart felt like it was being pulled apart and stitched together again, there wasn't an amount of happiness that could be labeled like this yet at the same time her heart ached for others.

"What are you doing here mommy?" he asked as his little arms unraveled from her.

"Oh baby," she sighed, "Mommy got into a bad accident. I did it to help people and make sure they were ok. It just cost mommy a lot."

The little boy looked at her with deep wonder, giving a nod in understanding.

"But now I'm here and with you." she smiled at him.

"But you aren't supposed to be here." he looked down at her.

What? What did he mean? "Adrian, mommy died. I can't go back."

"Ja, Sie können."

Marie whipped her head around to see a little girl coming up to them as her... her red coat stood out against the white of everything as her bouncy blonde curls flounced upon her head. It was her.

"You can go back." she said to her.

"Because you aren't to be here mommy. You were to stay in Germany." Adrian added.

Leave him? No, not now. She just got Adrian back, she can't lose him again, "But sweetie I'm dead, there is no-"

"You died in honor, not by suicide." the little girl said, "Because you died saving others and trying to protect so many it's another chance. If done by your own hand, you have to repeat the cycle again."

"Cycle? What do you mean? I'm dead, there really is no choice to this." she was becoming more confused.

"Mommy, you won't stay here. You'll be born again and must repeat everything. The Time Keepers say so, you'll start over again and you won't remember anything. Even me." he said, his bottom lip slowly pouting.

"You are meant to be a Capital. You have to go back." the little girl stated.

"But-"

"Don't you love him mommy?"

That question cut deeper than she expected, "Of course I do. I love Ludwig more than I could have ever imagined."

"And he loves you." she spoke up.

"He's looking for you mommy. He's really upset that he can't find you." Adrian spoke to her, hugging her once more, "All Capital's go to historical places defined by the country they represent. He's searching all of Germany for you. He's losing hope as he searches and Gilbert gets weaker."

"Gil?!" no, not Gilbert. Ludwig loses him he'd be a wreck.

"You need to go back, they all need you." she said, laying her hand on Marie's shoulder.

Her mind was a turmoil of hell as everything sunk in, "I can make the choice yes? I can choose to go back to Ludwig or stay and start over again, correct?"

"Yes, but you will forget if you stay." Adrian replied, "I don't want you to forget mommy. I want you to remember. You stay I can't go with you."

She looked at them both, how wise and brave they both were. So small yet so strong. She took their hands and held them with hers as she tried to find the words that filled her heart and mind.

"Besides, if you go back, you can see me again one day." he smiled at her, hinting to his words.

With a shaky breath, Marie nodded, "Ok, I'll go."

They smiled at her, so happy and full of life. They were about to kiss her head when an idea came to mind, "Wait! Wait, I need to ask something?"

They looked at her in question, "What's your name sweetie?"

The little girl smiled, "I'll tell you if you go back."

Marie smiled as something else came to mind, "You can speak with the Time Keepers, ja?"

They nodded as she pulled them close, whispering her deal within their little ears. The two of them looked at each other and smiled at her giving a reassuring nod to her as the little girl leaned in and whispered her name. Marie smiled as she hugged them both, "Thank you."

"Gern geschehen." they smiled.

Adrian placed his forehead to hers as he giggled at her, "I love you mommy. Thank you for everything."

"And thank you for being my own hero, sweetie." Marie held back her falling tears, "I love you too Adrian."

He kissed her forehead as Marie's world spun and slowly went dark.

 

He banged on the door for a third time, praying they would hear him. He was becoming desperate now, he needed help and there was one Capital that practically figured everything out faster than the others.

"Bloody hell, one moment." he heard behind the door, "What-Ludwig?"

"Please Arthur, I need her help."

"Good lord man, come in. Out of the cold." Arthur ushered him in as Juliet came down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she saw Ludwig in their kitchen.

"I need your help Juliet. You are the only one that had gathered so much knowledge of the Capitals and figured out so many possibilities, please help me find Marie." he begged the woman.

"Ludwig, she has to be in a historical place or city, it's how it-"

"I have looked there!" he shouted, his emotions rolling over. "I have searched every historical building, monument, and site that I have in my country and yet she is not there. There has to be something we are missing!"

"There isn't anything dear. I don't know where else she could be. I really don't." she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Amber was in a National Park, would that work?" Arthur questioned.

"I looked in the parks as well."

"Chap, I don't know. She has to be at one of them somewhere-"

"Then where?" he asked, "It's almost been two weeks and I still haven't found anything of her. Not a print, hair, or lash. Nothing!"

His mind went back to the scene of the accident, his own pleas found on deaf ears as he saw the destroyed car. The drive sitting in the driver's seat that was stained in blood, the whole damn thing was covered in her blood as the others pulled the dead bodies of the Genesis member out of their car. He prayed she'd be close to him, in Berlin itself. Yet everywhere he went, she was nowhere to be found.

He sat down in the kitchen chair as his fingers raked his hair, "I'm desperate ok? I don't know what else to do or where to look? And her being gone isn't killing me in stress it's Gilbert. The bastard is struggling to breath and barely hanging on. Eliza is there every day trying to hide her emotions back as the others help me and them. I'm just lost. Please, Juliet, there has to be something."

He watched as Juliet thought, her brow furrowed in concentration as his own mind was ready to snap.

"You said you looked at every historical building? Every war, yes?" she questioned, "Her souls within her pertained to WWII, is there a historical building that you have missed? A museum or anything, it's all that comes to my mind."

"I have Juliet." he stood up, throwing his hands up in the air, "I looked at them all. And yes, the girls were WWII and each one different from the last yet the same in some strides. I don't know any other building that would help me. Marie had plans to help me cope with WWII by..."

His mind thought of the plan that Marie had for him to overcome his own past, to face the hell and fear he felt over and over again he looked at the star. Could it be possible?

"What is it man?" Arthur asked.

"Juliet, could it be possible she'd be in another country? In a historical building of German occupancy?" he asked.

"What, another country?" Juliet questioned.

"You mean like your brother's once territories?" Arthur asked.

"Nein, nein. I mean a big piece of history in one building. No, one ground. One that caused such a rift in war that it was hard to believe no one really knew about it? One of the many reasons the Axis and Allies went to war?" he asked, his mind whirling on the possibility.

"It might be possible-wait Ludwig!" he heard Juliet call as he darted out of their home.

He had to get there, there was no other place he could think of. He just prayed Feliks would let him in.

 

"Are you like, totally sure about this Ludwig?" Feliks asked as they approached the gate.

Was he? His mind drifted between now and WWII as he approached the place with Francis and Ivan all those years ago. He wasn't sure if it was the right place, but it was the last for historical places he could think of. Even the ones of the most gruesome.

"Ja, I am." he said as the iron lettering came to view.

"I really hope she's in there, for your sake." Riko said, her arms never leaving Feliks.

He nodded to the woman, hoping she really was within the place. He watched as Feliks unlocked the gate and let it swing open, the dark eerie silence from the snow and the haunting memories made it practically terrifying to enter. Feliks backed away, taking hold of Riko as Ludwig looked at the grounds.

"If anywhere, check your brother's old office." Feliks spoke lightly to him.

He nodded to the man as he took slow steps in, "Hey Ludwig?"

He turned around to look at the Polish man, "Życzę szczęścia, przyjaciel."

"Danke Feliks."

He took a deep breath and continued into the camp, the place of hell and dark German history. Part of him vowed never to set foot within the place again after that day, but Marie told him it would be for the best to face his demons like she did. And if she could do it, so could he. He could still here the cries of mercy and hurt, devastation and death; the sights of the bodies in piles as they opened the chambers as more came out. Lifeless eyes staring right into his soul. He could still see the Allies looking at the hell, how they couldn't believe it as Francis and Ivan showed him as well, opening his eyes to the Holocaust.

His mind was paranoid as he made his way to the officer's building, a faint light coming from one of the windows. He knew Feliks would come in and light a candle in a window, hoping to guide the souls of the Holocaust to heaven. As he made his way over to it, he swore he could feel the fingers of the Jews, activists, Polish, gypsies and so many others rip at his limbs. Could hear them scream at him for what he did, could almost see them as he finally got himself through the door.

Silence. That's all there was as he stood there and listened. No footsteps or gentle voice, just his own breaths that escaped him. Pushing himself off the door, he walked up the stair, the narrow space felt like it was closing in faster and faster as he went up them, finally making it up to the top. He saw the door, the faint glow emitting from the bottom; Beilschmidt was still upon its wooden frame as he approached it. His hand shook as he grabbed the handle and prayed.

The door creaked, proof of little use and age as he walked in. The musty odor hit him as he looked upon the old desk, seeing papers still upon its feature. The candle in the window flickered with life as he stood there, she wasn't in there. His body trembled and collapsed to the floor as his heart broke under the hurt. It was his last thought. The only place he could think of that would make sense with her and him. It was Auschwitz, it was the last place he saw Odelia and the place Marie told him to face his demons and yet she wasn't here. She was literally gone.

"Marie," he called out, " Bitte, wo bist du? Ich brauche dich."

He was answered with silence as his tears fell, "Marie please, come back to me. I love you, please."

Something wrapped around his shoulders and neck, warm and delicate as the hint of Forget-Me-Nots filled him. His hand found the source and caressed the smooth skin he knew it belonged to.

"Ich liebe dich auch Ludwig."

He couldn't hold it in anymore as he turned in her arms and wrapped his own around her. Pulling her closer to him as he cried against her. She was alive and now in his arms, to never leave him ever again.

"I couldn't leave you." she said, now laced in German, "And I am so proud of you for making it in here without me."

"I needed you that badly Marie." he cried against her.

"I know." she kissed his head, "I know. Now let's go home."

Shaking his coat, he draped it over her shoulders as they made their way to the gates, gaining an excited cheer from Riko.

"You found her!" she clapped.

He couldn't help but smile at the truth before him. He had her and she had him, his Capital. Feliks came to view only to have Ludwig pause in worry. His face was laced with melancholy as he walked up to them, phone in hand.

"Ludwig." he whispered, "I'm sorry."

He had Marie, why was he... No. It couldn't be.

"Nein." he shook his head as his body trembled, not him. "Nein, nein, ihn nicht."

He felt Marie's grip tighten on him as his legs felt weak. Feliks and Riko came to his side as he shook his head in denial.

"Nein, ihn nicht. It can't be. I didn't get to thank him for being there for me and caring for me. I didn't get to have that last drink with him like we planned, I didn't..."

Ludwig looked back to see the candle that illuminated Gilbert's office go dark and still; it couldn't be.

"I didn't get to tell him how much I loved him." he fell to the ground as the three of them came to his side.

It was there before him, Gilbert's being of the memories and now it was snuffed. Gone. Forgotten. It was destroying him inside as he sobbed against Marie, but of all things, he didn't get to say goodbye.

 

"He wouldn't want us wallowing like this." Eliza cut the silence at the table.

The night was full of tears and heartache as the fully accepted the truth of Gilbert, that he was gone. Faded and to never come back. No more pancakes in the morning, no more obnoxiousness throughout the house, nothing. Just silence as the three of them sat there. Marie tried her best to calm them, but it was too hard to figure life without him. She sat there, looking at them as she drank from her mug, letting the time pass through them all. The part that hurt the most was the fact he felt like he failed him.

"You are right for both of you. He'd say it was unawesome of you both." Marie tried to cheer them up as she mocked him.

It brought a small chuckle to him yet didn't kill the hurt, which made a thought cross his mind.

"Marie, last night once we got here you said you didn't want to let anyone else know that Gil faded, why?" he asked.

A smile graced her lips as she looked at them, "I know things."

"Know what?" Eliza asked.

Marie's eyes never left the backyard as he and Eliza asked again about her knowledge, all she did was smile and nod to the door. Turing around he glanced to her line of sight only to reel back in shock. Eliza gasped as she too saw what he did, it couldn't be.

Without hesitation, he and Eliza flew out the door and ran to the source as the little yellow bird flew around his head.

"Gilbert!" they cried together as they wrapped their arms around the man.

"Miss me that much, guess I gotta fade more often." he joked.

"You are not funny!" Eliza smacked his head repeatedly.

"Hey now, I just got back. Don't be so mean to me."

"Explain." Ludwig demanded from him.

"What am I to say? I'm still the awesome Prussia. I'm the memories of WWII, the Holocaust and the Teutonic Knights, but I gained a new title as well."

"What?" was all he could get out as Eliza went on another fit.

"What, what do you mean? You are leaving more questions than answers, you douche nozzle. Answer me or I'll-"

"I'm Budapest." he placed his fingers to her lips.

Ludwig sat back in the snow, shock filling him as Eliza just stared at him, "What?"

"You heard me." he said looking to Marie, "Thanks to Marie there making a deal with the Time Keepers, I got to be reborn as Budapest. So now I'll never fade, even if they are all forgotten."

Eliza shook as her hand traced his cheek, "Are you really my Capital?"

"Ja Schatz, I am."

Ludwig didn't know what to do first, hold his brother and tell him everything he wanted to or to kiss the hell out of Marie for doing what she did? Eliza wrapped her arms around Gilbert as she cried against him, the reality sinking in them all.

He looked over to Marie as she got down beside him, "Told you I knew things."

Ludwig smiled at her as he pulled her into a deep kiss. Finally, after all these years of his own personal demons, he was finally free.


	12. Chapter 12

The summer song birds sang their sweet symphony as Marie listen to them, taking in the peace that surrounded her. She was glad for a calm finally. The last months were hell with Genesis threatening the boarders and diplomats going missing. Ludwig barely was home at times, just leaving her and Gil to the home as things go out of hand outside the nations. It was worrisome for her at least, she waited to see him come home bruised and battered and shaking with more trauma of war, yet he always smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Whispering every night that she was his star that lit up his night.

She smiled at his words, how sweet and gentle they were. She never tired of them. Couldn't to be honest. They filled her with love and hope that chased her own past away. It was to the point that the pull to the needle was barely noticeable and her nightmares and memories just something that came occasionally and each time they did, he was there to comfort her. Yes, things were finally calm.

Well, except for that morning. She smiled oddly at the chaos that ensued in the early hours as Ludwig panicked over everything and Gil ran around like a chicken without its head. Thank god for Eliza being the calm one of the bunch, not that Marie hadn't done it before.

The small sigh pulled her thoughts back to the bundle against her legs. Two days after Gil came back, Marie found herself in the bathroom for hours it felt and things sort of added up to her discomfort. Although telling Ludwig was the funnier part of it all.

Marie leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the baby's head. Her little hands wrapped around her own fingers, something she missed more than ever. Her little girl laid there, content as could be as Marie smiled down at her. She didn't expect to have a baby so soon yet she was overjoyed each day looking at her belly grow and feel her within. Ludwig was no different as his hands were always upon her belly, protective and yearning of her. Well, unless Blackie and Berlitz saw him, then it was their baby to protect and he wasn't allowed to even be near her. Even Aster, in his weakened state, growled at him.

She was truly awed by her little girl. Adrian wasn't wrong, he was right when he said she'd see him again one day. Her face was as peaceful as his and the same pouty lip as well. It wasn't him one hundred percent, but damn near close. She lifted her hand to her lips, placing gentle kisses to the tiny fingers that gripped hers.

Footsteps came to the side of the bed as she marveled at the baby, another kiss placed to her head as one came to her own.

"You are beautiful and did amazing this morning." Ludwig whispered in her ear as he caressed her arm.

"You've told me that at most five times now." she smiled at him.

"And I will tell you every day for eternity Marie, you are. I watched you do something amazing that I can never judge upon. I'll never argue over the strength of a woman ever again."

"You thought I was weak before?" she joked with him, watching his expression change instantly.

"Nein, nein. I'm not saying that!" he tried to cover his ass, "I'm saying that-"

She silenced him with a kiss, "You get any louder and you'll wake her."

"Sorry." he spoke gently as he moved himself to sit behind her. "Lean back Liebling. I want to hold my girls."

She felt his legs surround her as his arms wrapped around her and their daughter. The solidness of his chest was comforting as she leaned her head back against his should and brought the baby to her chest. This is what she dreamed of. The happy family moment that everyone dreamed of and now she had it.

Small whimpers left her girl as her head moved side to side, "Ok, ok. One moment Schatz."

Marie cradled her pulling her robe open as the baby began to nurse. Ludwig settled his head on her shoulder as he watched his little girl in her arms, the awed look in his eyes of her.

"Still amazed she's here?" she asked him.

"Hard to believe she's mine." he said, his fingers rubbing her blonde tuffs. "You do realize Gil will never leave her alone?"

"Eliza will control that but she will probably be just as bad." she said, "However Ludwig, I was wondering why you never asked?"

"Asked what?"

"After I had her and she was in my arms, I said her name and you didn't question me. Why? I thought you'd be curious as to why?" she pondered.

"Marie, I watched you bring her into the world. I wasn't asking or questioning anything after that." he stated.

Marie chuckled, "Be glad hers was this way and not like Adrian's. I like the fact I couldn't feel anything during this, just the sensation of her being born. Adrian's was hell and I made it known in that hospital."

"If hers was his?"

"She would be a guaranteed only child." she smiled at him as his eyes widened in fear.

"Well then, note to self. Keep you in Germany or by me when next baby is born."

"Isn't that the rule anyway after Brie in Italy?" she asked gaining a nod.

"I have a feeling you brought that up for reason though." he said, "Why did you say Adeline?"

"Because it was her name." she replied only getting his raised eyebrow of question.

"When I died, and sat on the breath, I not only saw Adrian there but her as well. The little girl you tried to save. I made the deal with them that if I came back I wanted Gil to be a Capital and that I would tell you her name. So, when I found out I was pregnant and then having a girl, I decided to name her after her. So, Adeline Raine."

Ludwig just gawked at her and the baby, taking in the truth of her name, "Adeline?"

"Yes Luddy, Adeline." she smiled, kissing him once more.

He pulled her closer to him as Adeline slowly fell asleep against her, "Danke Liebling."

"Always." she sighed, "Oh and we don't fully have to worry over Gil and Eliza after a bit."

"Why's that?"

A loud cheer of excitement echoed the home as they could hear Gil jump around downstairs, "I'm going to be a Vati!"

"That's why." she laughed with Ludwig at the news.

After all her hardships and mountains of pain to climb, she made it to the top, standing tall and strong after nearly falling back to the start. Now she was staying there, with her family around her, she was never losing touch of what mattered most.

 

Fin

 

 

Epilogue

 

The glow of the computer screens called out to her as she scanned each one with multiple tasks. The TV behind her talking about the latest Gaming Expo and how the master gamer and computer hacker was going to have there filled her with excitement as she readied everything.

Most wouldn't take Nora for one of the gamers, the ones that had I.Q. higher than most people, and the one that wouldn't settle for anything less but her past was what kept that at bay and after her accident... she shook her head as the screen lit with street camera views.

She was hunting, not for something, but some one. The voice whispered to her once more as she typed in the street name. It was as eager as she was as the people bustled out of the large building, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man in question. It was hard to differentiate people of the same origin. She hated sounding racist but most of the people looked alike and it was hard to tell which he was.

"If you give me a name I can look better." she said to them only gaining their chatter.

The ding of her other screen gave her the heads up that hear tickets were ready along with passport and expo tags, she had to hurry and gain an idea of what they wanted from her and this building or she would miss... her eyes caught him.

There he was, the business suit pristine on him as the voices chatted a storm of him as she looked at him. He walked with seven other men, their pins the identification of the nations they represented. She knew they were more than diplomats of war, they were the real deals as she watched him pull off the tie.

They whispered more to her, telling her that he hated modern dress and preferred the old ways. How he was and what he liked, and the more they spoke the more she was entrapped by the man.

"He's kinda nice looking eh?" she said, trying to ignore them.

They paused for a moment, as if humming in agreement with her as she watched his ponytail blow in the sudden breeze. Standing up from her large computer space, it was fully time for her to act.

"Ok you guys, this time tomorrow, we'll be sitting in China."


End file.
